I wrote this last night. I haven't put it up on ff.net because I think it kinda sucks dead eggs.
And I hate the title.
And I'm not sure what the point is.http://community.livejournal.com/rashaka_fiction/4707.html
(SPOILERS - Avatar 2x08)The following rant has been cross-posted below, so that you can read about my angst without having to spoil yourself or even read it if A:TLAB is not one of your known fandoms:
See? See that? It sucks. Even the parts I like, I'm not that wild about. And looking at all the parts I don't like, I can't even imagine fixing them; I just want to scrub them out entirely.
Plus, I really *really* think my ability to have a variety of sentence structure is going down the toilet. All my sentences sound the same to me these days and they all sound boring.
This disgruntlement has been present for months. I feel like I've fallen into bad writing habits (for example, always putting things in threes) that on their own aren't a problem but when I do it continuously all my fics start to sound the same to me, and I begin to fear I'm actually re-using phrases. I haven't caught myself doing it yet, but some internal part of me wonders.
I know every writer has their own style, but I think my style's changed considerably over the years since I started writing fanfic and not all the changes have been for the better. On the plus side, my stuff now is better than my stuff four years ago; I have a better grasp of story structure and pace, for one thing. On the negative side, I think I have less daring sentence structure and a certain flatness of tone. ((I'm speaking mostly about my general to dramatic fics here, since I use a different style completely for humor/parody.))
I think it also differs from fandom to fandom. Like, my Naruto fics don't annoy me as much as my Avatar fics do. And my Buffy fics annoy me for the same reason my Avatar fics do, but are counterbalanced by the fact that I think I had better vocabulary in my BTVS fics than the current stuff I'm writing.
It's all very confusing and frustrating.
Maybe it's because it's been so long since I sat down to read good fiction? All I read these days are textbooks and fanfic. While it gives me spelling and grammar practice, that can't be doing anything but slowly sapping my writing abilities of anything resembling a sexy turn of phrase. ---See! Right there! I used "anything" twice in the same sentence!
I'm highly disatisfied.