timepiececlock: (Live long and suck it! - Spock)
Dear homeowner of days past who paid the tiler of days past to refit the downstairs bathroom:

Wherever you are, I hope toilet paper clings to your shoe. I hope birds poop on your hat. I hope grass gets into your carpet!

I hope you have hangnails.

I will never forgive you for putting tile grout instead of maleable caulk at the base of our downstairs toilet bowl.

Never forgive! Never forget!
timepiececlock: (Between the Bars)
[livejournal.com profile] trinityofone is hosting her second contest of Worst Opening Sentence You Can Imagine For A Fic. (I submitted twice already) It lasts until Thursday morning, then there's a vote.

Fly, my little pretties! Go represent some of the anime fandoms or ATLA or Doctor Who!


side bar 1: I'm enjoying this tangent conversation listing Lt. Colonel John Sheppard's greatest fears.

side bar 2: I didn't know this before, but apparently I was a [Dis]Honorable Mention in the last contest! With this one, which it hurts to even remember having typed:

Ronon thought John Shepard's nipples were the prettiest rosebuds he'd ever seen.
timepiececlock: (Spy no Jutsu)
An hour ago these two guys came to the door, around 11:40pm. My brother answered, and apparently they were looking for some woman, and kept asking for her to be brought to the door. My brother kept telling them that no "Amanda" lived here, and to go away. After about five or six minutes (a pretty long while, in Porch Conversation Time), they left. They were polite but insistent, and my brother handled it pretty well. They never threated anything, but still... it's REALLY late at night for people to drop by hunting someone. My brother, my dad, and myself had a discussion about it. My brother thought they wanted to collect information for some kind of credit debt ("He had a clipboard.") and I wondered if it was some kind of personal relationship gone sour. They seemed surprised to find out out we'd lived at this address for three years.

ShakaDad: Maybe he was a bounty hunter.
ShakaBro: Yeah, huh... maybe.
ShakaDad: You probably wouldn't have been able to turn him away, if he were.
Rashaka: Unless he was scoping us out?
ShakaDad: Nah. ...Was he a big guy?
ShakaBro: No...well, there were two of them.
Rashaka: Really? [I hadn't known that from where I was eavesdropping]
ShakaBro: Yeah. They were wearing gloves.
Rashaka: Oh, that's creepy.*
ShakaDad: **heads outside, to porch, to scan for strange vehicles on the street**
Rashaka: What kind?
ShakaBro: I don't know.
Rashaka: Fingerless?
ShakaBro: It doesn't matter.
Rashaka: Still, both with gloves. That's creepy.

Rashaka: **follows ShakaDad outside toward sidewalk**
Rashaka: Two by two, hands of blue.
ShakaDad: Heheh. *snicker*
Rashaka: *grin* You with me, there?
ShakaDad: Yes.


We didn't see any strange cars, so we shrugged and went back inside. The whole scenario was strange.


*Re: gloves. We live in Southern California and it's about 75 or 80 degrees here at night in summer. Nobody wears gloves except for villainous purposes.
timepiececlock: (Shigure loves his popsicles)
This is an interesting LJ supplementary tool:

http://fawx.com/software/ljarchive/

I might download for kicks when I get home. Then I'll probably get paranoid and delete it plus all its results.

I wonder if it works for communities?
timepiececlock: (Bite me. -Toph)
I'm 2/3rds of the way through, about when the main characters are trolling a sci-fi fantasy literary con, and I am... ambivalent. My mom got it for me for Christmas, and I read the back and thought it sounded neat, too.

Princess of Wands seems to divided into two, possibly three, small novellas, with individual but successive plots, involving the same main characters but a changing cast of minor characters. I wasn't impressed with the first one, which I can summarize with a headline: "Tentacle monster raping prostitutes defeated by ninja supermom." Sounds like a great parody, right? Too bad the book is taking it seriously.

The main characters feels very Mary Sue-ish to me; she's an interesting idea but her skills are taken past the point of cool to the point of annoying. The one thing I like about her-- her devoted religious faith-- is the most interesting thing about her character but the most annoying thing about the author's style. There's something in the writing that is... not quite proselytizing, but not quite not. The author makes a great of show for including other religions and other faiths, and indeed has made the heroine's acceptance of other faiths as part of the subplots, but I don't always like how he characterizes other faiths. There's something vaguely patronizing about it.

I'm also not thrilled with his characterization of women. More on this, only vague plot spoilers, less than what you'd get from a book jacket )

HOWEVER, that's not to say that I hate the book. There are a couple of minor things I like about it. The reason I'm kind of enjoying the last 70 pages is that the characters are currently infiltrating a fandom convention, and the author seems to be very familiar with fen culture. I suspect that's why the whole story sounds like something written by a fanboy... it probably was written by a fanboy. (and there's a reason the term is fan"boy" instead of "man".) Still, stupid assumptions and cliches aside, reading about a bunch of people infiltrating a convention is amusing, as you can imagine. For anyone who's ever been to a con (Fanime Con 3 times, myself) there's a certain verve and energy about it that comes across in the writing from even a mediocre writer. I kind of wish the whole book had been set in this wacky environment; I've been in fandom enough to know that there are pretty hilarious and original characters in fandom culture, and a murder-mystery set at a SF con would be entertaining, if it were well-written and done in a way that was respectful, not didactic (as it is here, a bit.) Something akin to the way the film Dogma treats Catholicism, I think. Something like that, I would love to read.

This book? I'll finish it. But I doubt I'll read another by the author. His narrative is decent and balanced, but lacks any real thrill, beauty, or imagination. And a mediocre narrative with characters I'm not impressed by and a plot that's so far a bad dream of Tomb Raider meets X Files... nah.

Oh, and the reviewer on the back cover who compared this to Buffy? I could kick you. I could kick you IN THE BALLS. [I know you have them.] This is not what Buffy is about, and Joss Whedon, for all his flaws, can still write women in ways that are worlds more interesting and complicated than this.
timepiececlock: (Shigure loves his popsicles)
Yay! Trailer for the Doctor Who Christmas Special


Two nights ago I was describing to my dad a dream I'd had last year where I was trapped in a motel room with The Doctor and another person, and we couldn't leave because the outside world had succumbed to 28 Days Later-style zombies. Every once in a while packs of the zombies would stampede down the street and tear things apart and eat people. In particular, our door was being harrassed by a pack of zombie-dogs. We were all generally terrified, and the Doctor (Nine) didn't have his sonic screwdriver, and had pretty much given up on the idea of us escaping our eventual zombie fate, which was bound to happen as soon as they heard us talking and realized we were hiding behind a pretty weak motel room door.

I tried to impress upon my dad the frustration of being trapped in a life-or-death situation with the Doctor, of all fictional characters, and having him helpless. It was horrible! Almost as bad as knowing our flesh was going to be ripped apart. I mean, here my brain had conjured this horrifically vivid scenario, then my subconscious had responded with the guy who is sure to get us out safely... except in my nightmare he was just as helpless as I was and man, was that a downer realization. I don't think my father quite appreciated the level of frustration I tried to convey-- I'm not sure he realized I was that much of a DW fan---fan enough to care about the fact that in my dream The Doctor couldn't save us.

This was all prompted by a dream I'd had the night before about me being chased around a town by zombies, this time pulled from Grindhouse: Planet Terror. That makes this my second, possibly third visceral zombie nightmare in the last four or five years. I've had horrific nightmares before that about other stuff--my imagination likes to really out and out scare me in my sleep a couple times a year, probably the flouride in the water-- but two times denotes the beginning of a pattern. I'm not sure why they're so frightening to me when I'm dreaming about them. I can watch zombie movies, not blink an eye, and two minutes after I walk out of the theater be thinking about marshmellows and ATLA or something. Zombie movies aren't scary to me. So why do they show up in my occasional but semi-regular nightmares?
timepiececlock: (Yellow kakashi face)
I reread Another Wolf, which is so good but OMFGWRONG at the same time. Because really, teenagers with older men is usually a squick for me. On account of it being illegal and gross (which is why I still haven't read Lolita yet). But here I got sucked into the OMFGWRONG of it, and what do you know. Still as good a fanfic as it was when I read it a year ago. I blame it on really quality writing and expert use of tension in a scene. (FYI, this fic is only PG-13, and is pretty subtle, more about anticipation than event. )

I am painfully aware that most KakaSaku fic is probably not of such high quality, and most of it will probably make me want to roll my eyes or barf. But it hit a kink for me, today. And it is the first one I've read for this pairing-- the only other one I read had them both as adults. But it hit a nerve. So I browsed some of the reviews and picked out people who wrote intelligent responses, then I trolled their favorites lists. This is usually how I browse Fanfiction.net.

http://www.asherida.net/kakasaku/fiction.html
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2390706/1/


http://community.livejournal.com/kakasaku/242731.html

http://naruto.adultfanfiction.net/authors.php?no=1296795102

http://naruto.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=544214293

http://naruto.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600000025

http://naruto.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=544183789
http://naruto.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600005535
http://naruto.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090219

http://naruto.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=544203065




Naruto/Sakura:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2393153/1/
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2790223/1/
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2805179/1/
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1880777/1/

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2348777/1/
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3069422/1/

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2182992/1/
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2252655/1/
timepiececlock: (SPOILERS ARE WEAK)
Yousendit.com all of a sudden wants me to sign up with them. They want my email address before I get the download link.

::resists:: ::resists::

...But I need to download that episode of The 4400 because my cable cut out all sound just as they were about to explain the entire secret to the mystery of the 4400 and the promeisine and the future and the point of the whole damn series!

...but...

::RESISTS:: ::RESISTS::


...I don't want to give YSI my email address... where's my annoynmity then, huh?
timepiececlock: (Itachi WTF? face)
Like many things ingestible, Red Bull gets slightly less disgusting with every can. The taste of liquid Smarties can be tolerated if you get it cold enough before hand, and if you drink it very fast you can almost convince yourself that it's actually going to do its revolting work to keep you awake, thereby justifying its revoltingly expensive purchase.
timepiececlock: (Chihiro thinks you suck!)
Dear people in the apartment next door singing about diarrhea at 2-something AM,

Shut up shut up shut up!

May you choke on your own beers and slip into a state of quietly blithering semi-consciousness where the only noise your alcohol-damaged brain is capable of urging your vocal cords to produce is a weakened little whimper of destitute abstraction.

Think of your mothers, dickwads. Think of your mothers.

-Rashaka
timepiececlock: (Edward on drugs)
I've mentioned this before, but I don't get brain freezes. When I eat something really cold, I get a stabbing pain between my shoulder blades. Like a pre-chilled knife in my back.

Scientists have discovered that when something cold touches the roof of your mouth, nerve endings shoot up warnings to other nerves that are in charge of protecting your brain. These other nerves work instantly to get your brain back to a normal temperature of 98.6ºF by stretching the blood vessels in your head, eventually causing the headache after 30 to 60 seconds of eating or drinking.

Tadeusz F. Poplawski, M.D.
Child & Adult Neurology and Durham Regional Hospital
http://www.durhamregional.org/healthlibrary/kids/brainfreeze



I knew it! You know what this means? This means the nerves that are supposed to be sending warnings to my brain are sending them to my spinal cord. Or back muscles, or something. But the main point? I'm wired wrong. I always suspected this (indeed the kids in grade school warned me of as much, the little buggers.)

Every doctor I've ever asked has shrugged me off, probably on account of it happening for years and not having any adverse effect except weirdness. I figure I'm either an alien (nobody but me likes that theory, them folk of little imaginations!), or just wired a bit differently. Either way, people look at you oddly if you go "GAAH!" and arch your back like a seizure when you drink a smoothie.
timepiececlock: (Katara warrior)
Things Rashaka Hates To See Done To Female Heroes In Fanfiction, ft. Katara of Avatar:TLA

  1. Katara being lured away by a man and almost raped only to be rescued by Zuko/Aang/Jet/Haru, seeing as she totally forgot she could kick their asses any OTHER day except the day some random man decided to rape/sexually assault her.


  2. Katara kissing Zuko/Aang/Jet/Haru after he rescued her from almost being raped/sexually assaulted, because sexual contact is really what she wanted the whole time, right? And it's just Zuko/Aang/Jet/Haru talks prettier to her, so that makes it okay, the whore.


  3. Katara whoring herself out for money to survive, because a woman in need of poverty will always whore herself out, because that's a woman's natural fallback way of life, right? Even though someone like Katara has the physical/magical power to maim or kill pretty much anyone she chooses, there's no way she'd be a thug and mug people for money. Why do that when she can whore herself out?


  4. Katara whoring herself out for money to survive, and being rescued from her life of sin by Zuko/Aang/Jet/Haru, because it's always a man's job to rescue the little woman from her natural state of whorish behavior, and only through his benevolent love and protection can she find happiness and integrity in life, providing of course she falls in love with him next, since being his object of sexual desire is fine, just as long as she realizes she can't be anyone else's.


  5. Katara forgetting the fact that she knows how to use waterbending to maim or kill people. Seriously, KATARA KNOWS HOW TO MAIM AND KILL PEOPLE. KATARA IS A WARRIOR, AND WARRIORS MAIM AND KILL PEOPLE. That is what she went to the North Pole to learn, and she got very good at it. Katara had the opportunity to be a healer, and she decided she'd rather learn how to maim and kill people. Please for all our sakes' remember that.




Okay, see that list? Now take the name of the character, Katara, and replace it with EVERY LEAD FEMALE CHARACTER IN ALL OF YOUR FAVORITE SHOWS. Television, anime, books, WHATEVER.

Chances are, you've read that fic multiple times, for every female lead character you can think of.

More than bad spelling, more than an inability to understand paragraph breaks, more than random OOC love stories, this is the shit I hate to see in fanfiction.

^---This is what badfic looks like.---^



p.s. If you want to write rapefic, read this story first. Then come back and tell me you want to fucking write some rapefic, and I'll say okay.


EDIT: [livejournal.com profile] muffytaj is love.

gross

Feb. 26th, 2006 03:19 pm
timepiececlock: (Edward freaked out)
So, I've had numerous nightmares before about my teeth falling out.

At the moment, my nightmares are practically reality.

Let me explain:

I broke my two front teeth when I was a kid. Fell off a bike or something. Anyway, I've had plastic bonds put on them all my childhood. The last ones I had done at least 9 years ago, and bonds are supposed to last 4-5 years. So I talked to my dentist about it and my parents and I decided that while I was still on their insurance before graduation I should get my teeth fixed in a more permanent way. On one front tooth I'm getting a veneer, on the other (more broken) tooth, a crown. That was decided about a month ago.

On Thrusday evening she carved up my two front teeth and made a mold, then made temporary plastic bonds to serve for the two weeks while my porceline crowns are being made.

Yesterday, Saturday, they were wiggling a fraction, and I could swear blood from when I brushed my teeth (my gums were still swollen from the operation) was leaking BEHIND the plastic. Last night I was eating something and they popped halfway off. Today, I was eating a really soft sandwhich (the softest I could get!) and they popped all the way off in my mouth: the two plastic teeth covers, as a connected unit. Gross!

It felt like my teeth were falling out. With them gone, I could feel my real teeth with my tongue and they felt broken, smaller. Which of course they are. So I immediately shoved the temporaries back on over my teeth. They stay pretty well as long as I don't try to eat anything... I think the suction is what pulls them off.

I'd emailed my dentist last night and I called her just now. The building's closed on Sundays so the soonest I can come in is Monday--- I have a 7am appointment.

I guess I'm on a liquid diet until then. I can't wait for these two weeks to be over. Then I won't have to bother with my front teeth for a good 15 years.
timepiececlock: (Don't fuck w_ the duck!)
I realized that I had, previously, installed this "root kit" software when I used my new Foo Fighters CD in my computer. Since then my computer crashed because of a virus (as far as I know, unrelated) and had to be wiped clean, so I don't have the stuff there any more. On the other hand, this means I can't put my discs in for fear of getting this shit on my computer.


Here's a list of links I've gotten via LJ over the last week or more on all that stuff you've been hearing about Sony and music CDs and malicious root kit software:

USA TODAY on the story:
http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/computersecurity/2005-11-02-sony-patch_x.htm

A step-by-step look at what the rootkit software does and how to find it on your computer, with helpful pictures:
http://www.sysinternals.com/blog/2005/10/sony-rootkits-and-digital-rights.html

Same site discussing the quality of the so-called patches Sony made:
http://www.sysinternals.com/blog/2005/11/more-on-sony-dangerous-decloaking.html


Sony's website, where you can find a list of their music labels: http://www.sonybmg.com/

How hackers can use the software Sony puts on your computer:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/11/10/sony_drm_trojan/


And now Sony's being hit by a class action law suit in California and soon to be New York as well:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/4424254.stm - from BBC news
http://yro.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/11/10/0024259 - lists the California laws Sony allegedly violated

If the class action law suit passes, I'm returning my fucking CD. I'd have returned it anyway except that I got it at a discount no-return price. Meanwhile, I've warned my family and friends about it. Only my gamer friend seemed to care, but my dad was very interested too.

I actually forked over money for the Foo Fighters double CD. And this is what they give me in appreciation for not stealing? Put software on there that holds my computer hostage in order for me to hear the music?

Shit like this makes me want to steal music, not buy it.
timepiececlock: (Itachi WTF? face)
That, or it creaks. Creaks something awful. Like, A COUPLE FRICKIN' TIMES A DAY.

What are these creaks like? Well, they sound more less exactly someone heavy-footed stepped on a creaky part of the floor. I've grown up with that sound all my life; my dad's a big guy so sometimes if he steps quickly a random floorboard creaks. This sounds exactly like that.

I am most definitely the only one in the house right now. And every other time this happens. Which is often.

Sometimes there's another sound, vaguely like the grinding clunk noise of a washing machine jiggling or something. I've since ruled that out as the sound of my neighbor getting into his outside shed-- the shed door makes about that sound.

But the creaking? No explanation yet. Since I heard it first a few months ago, I've come up with and dismissed various possibilities.


What would Scully say?

Outside noise or neighbor movement: comes from the wrong place in the hous to be that.

The icemaker in the fridge making noise: it never comes from the kitchen, usually the hallway. and the icemaker has a different sound, more clunk and cranking gears than floor creaking.

Wind somehow reaching down through the absurdly high roof to make the low ceiling creak: I would have bought this in our San Jose house, but here that's just silly. We don't get wind in Irvine. We get breezes. Breezes range from "dainty" to "brisk", but they're never in their wildest dreams going to wind. Especially not the kind of wind that makes houses creak.

Air conditioner making noise: This one seemed to hold for a while-- except that the air conditioner isn't on all the time. So cross that off the list.

Pipes and plumbing and/or hot water heater: Currently my favorite, though I have no idea why noises from the hot water heater might sound like weight falling on the floor in the hallway. And, I recently learned that this house doesn't have a crawlspace between the floor and the foundation/ground, like our last house did. Just cement. So how exactly would the pipes be making this noise loud enough for me to hear it? Dunno. Also rules out the possibility of anything living under the house making the noise.


What would Mulder say?

I'm being haunted: by a heavy-stepping person who seems to like walking in the hallway. Or randomly jumping just once to make noise and then stopping, just to frustrate me.

someone's crashing at my house with an invisibility cloak (tm HP) or an SEP Field (tm Douglas Adams): My parents obviously don't notice because they dismiss it as "Somebody Else's Problem", and unfortunately I'm the lucky SEP recipient.

The house is alive: and apparently is doing one of two things: A) expressing its love for me though creaky non-threatening noises for my ears alone, or B) slowly trying to drive me nuts very very slowly through inane frustration and really random annoyance factor.

I'm making it creak subconsciously through telekinesis: because... well, fuck if I know why I'd do something like that.


Oh well. I'll only be living here until August, then they can have it's creaking walls all to themselves.

Earthquake

Jun. 16th, 2005 03:10 pm
timepiececlock: (Itachi WTF? face)
I felt the one at 2 o'clockish today. I (being my lazy college student self was still in bed) sat up and asked my also-still-in-bed roommate

Shaka: Was that an earthquake?
Roomie: Yes.
Shaka: I haven't felt one of those in years. Cool.
Roomie: It's not cool.
Shaka: Yes it is! Little earthquakes are cool. Big ones are scary. This one was cool.

I think she would have thrown a pillow at me if she weren't so sleepy.
timepiececlock: (power of evolution!)
It's been a long time since a TV commercial has offended me as a human being and a woman the way the commercials for this body spray deodorant called "the Axe Effect" or whatever is pissing me off now.

This one I just saw had women walking around with backless shirts, swimsuits, etc, and on their backs, as if imprinted on their skin by pressure, are signs like "No Smoking" or the impression of a car stearing wheel.

And then it cuts to them and a man leaving a place where theses signs/objects might have been.

Along with the words "The Axe Effect: it can happen anywhere."

Like women are

a) objects with labels
b) objects to be "had" anywhere, any time
c) women are always on the bottom
d) women can be made to have sex just by the smell of cologne anywhere, even places they otherwise wouldn't have sex
e) OBJECTS WITH LABELS WHAT THE FUCK?!!

::stabby stabby long time::

::stabby stabby long LONG time::
timepiececlock: (cuts and the scratches)
Tonight's episode of WHR... An Exaggerated Recap



Robin is irresponsible with Big Manly Bike She's Too Young For, gets trampled on by the rain gods for her secret heathen ways, and is forced to steal an umbrella to survive the night. Rain gods hate pyromaniacs, you know.

Innocent Victim #1, now umbrellaless, dies in a car wreck after she gets a wasp in her eye and thinks it looks suspiciously like a Barbie doll with a cookie cutter.
Read more... )

. The End .

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