ext_10182: Anzo-Berrega Desert (Default)
ext_10182 ([identity profile] rashaka.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] timepiececlock 2006-06-29 04:56 am (UTC)

That is all your dialogue, not mine. The basic lay-out of the conversation is the same, but that's alright. I'm not gonna haggle over that-- heck knows I've read enough fic where I wanted to take a scene and rewrite it my own way.

You've added stuff I didn't-- Katara being tired, her mind-changing, Zuko's sudden change of heart. All of that is yours, not mine (in mine, Katara never said she wanted to go, Zuko can just read her well enough to see it, and Zuko generally doesn't talk about dancing at all so he would never have had a conversation saying he wouldn't go even if they made him-- actually, my Zuko would never allow for the possibility that someone not his uncle or father could "make" him do anything, he'd simply say "it's not happening" and leave it at that. And now he's not going because he likes dancing or even wants to go, but he knows Katara is secretly wishing he'd ask her, and although he doesn't want to go dancing he does want to take her out and make her happy, and he'll enjoy it just because he's with her.)

It's the explicit dialogue-lifting that really bothers me. What you have there seems fine.

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