You do read accounts where it comes off as John just being her pawn (huh?!) or, conversely, that she stands there nodding saying, 'Yes, dear.' (Again, huh?!?)

I've noticed both in the show, but since it happens to both of them you can't exactly feel bad about it. My parents trade off in that role too. But being 5 episodes into season 4 I already think it's changed somewhat... Delenn is more following him and he's no longer being led by her and Kosh. He came back a little different, and their dynamic is slightly different too.