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I half-way agree. I think Katara has a greater...capacity...for doing that to Mai than Zuko does to Aang. It is hard to believe that Zuko would engage in that behavior...though its equally if not more unbelievable that Katara would treat Aang that way. And part of me wonders if Zuko might not rationalize it as a separate matter--the heart's feelings having no bearing on his respect for Aang as the Avatar. I mean, Zuko is better at being good, yeah, but he's still selfish. We know he'll do foolish things and make foolish choices when acting from his heart, that's VERY in-character. Though Zuko also might apply to the fear thing... he could be insightful enough to realize that while in his own mind world peace and personal relationships are two different and not necessarily co-dependent things, AANG might confuse the two. Aang would take an act of Zuko to be the same as an act of the Fire Lord, and let personal relations damage their political alliance.

My main problem with it, though, is that I think Katara is better than that. Or believes herself to be better than that. Pride is *not* something Katara is short on, we know that much. It's impossible for me to imagine her settling as second-best to anyone. Maybe I could see her being Zuko's consort/mistress if Zuko was still unmarried and she was the only woman in his life, although they're not actually married. I don't know if marriage would even make Katara happy. But I don't think she'd tolerate having to "compete" with anyone's wife or betrothed.