I thought that was an interesting distinction too. I'm not sure all restraint is "repression" however, but pon farr is a compelling example that perhaps there is more repression than actual control. I'll think about that for sure.

As such I don't think Spock's fundamental way of dealing is inherently unique. I mean, it took Amanda dying and Spock having a breakdown before Sarek would even admit that he loved his wife.

Maybe not unique, but it would be expected that his reaction be more aligned with Sarek's wouldn't it? I mean almost ending a colleague is pretty extreme given a lifelong training *not* to flip out. Do you see Spock from TOS have reacted that way had the same happened to him-if someone screwed with him after the loss of his planet and his mother (all other aspects from his childhood in TOS remaining the same)?

And another really fascinating thing to think about it in terms of the nurture/nature thing. I don't want to go crazy on detaching the two since I don't think it's altogether possible, but it can be neat to think about. If one does see Spock from TOS acting the same as nu!Spock in this situation, is it because of the human part of him which just doesn't take repression all that well? Seems like if one sees Spock from TOS *not* reacting with the same vehemence, an argument for the importance of how he grew up (the prejudice he was subjected to) becomes more significant.

Sorry this is so rambly and incoherent, but I really liked reading your take. Gave me a lot to consider.
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