Fanfic PSA: major fic annoyance.

I think I've finally found the singular thing that annoys me above all others in bad Buffyfic. No matter how horrible you are, everything is forgivable or redeemable except this.

There's a sex scene, and the male vampire bites the woman's breast. Not talking scraping the skin for a thin trail of blood, I mean full-on biting. Specifically, phrases like "sinks his fangs into" and so on.

STOP! Freeze paragraph, stop right there and let's think about this a minute.

I look down at my body, and I can't imagine anything less sexy. The idea of anyone, even with sexy vamp allure or thrall or whatever, sinking 2-inch fangs into my breasts... no way. Uh-uh. That would be like having your breast freaking bit off or cut off. It brings to mind things like really gorey hentai, Silence of the Lambs, and stories about serial killers who cut off women's breasts while torturing them. And I'm supposed to find this sexy?

This is something I will never, ever write, and I hope to never, ever read by someone I like. So far, my favorite authors haven't done this. And I'm grateful, because no matter how good the writer, this never be sexy to read, and I will immediately stop reading the fic, because anyone who writes about this is eather A) a guy (and thus has no breasts to think about) or B) a girl/woman who somehow fails to conceive of the massive amounts of pain and extreme grossness such an act would actually inflict upon the woman being bitten.

Now, I'm not against reading NC-17 fic with biting. Hell, there are some frelling great fics with vampires biting. wisteria_ wrote one this season that I loved. And they're vampires, you'd expect that kind of thing. Bites on necks, bites on inner thighs, bits on wrists, hell even bites on lower private parts-- all can be twisted into sexy vampire bloodplay smutfic. But. No. Biting. Of. The. Boobs.

I cannot stress this enough.

This Fanfic Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by the letter S, for smut.

movie & movie meme

Thanks to wisteria_, watched the new Pirates Of The Caribbean trailer! Damn, I want to see this movie. Even if it sucks, as most pirate movies do. But I want to see it anyway... you have Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, and Jeffrey Rush and PIRATES in one movie!

new meme....

Five movies I will always stop and watch on TV if I run across them while channel surfing:

The Shawshank Redemption

LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring

The Princess Bride

Moulin Rouge

Toy Story... or Dead Poet Society.

snuck in two there, didn't I! ...BWahahahaa...

spamming your buddies list with my random posts, yo!

I'm incredibly lazy.

I want to finish readon the fic Necessay Evils by Barb, but I stopped reading it at chapter 24 months ago, and I don't remember where all the character relationships are, or what's going on. Have Buffy & Spike gotten together yet? Dd the angel-demons just disappear when Buffy told them to scram because she liked Anya? What's going on?

And I don't want to go back and reread that massive amount of story.

But I feel really sheepish and lazy asking someone else to summarize for me.

(no subject)

I've been thinking about writing. People always go on about "write what you know" and so forth. My dad has asked me why I don't write about sailing, since it's something I know about and love. I've wondered too, because it's never been something I write about it. The first, and so far only, time was a poem I wrote back in January.

I guess I find it hard to express. Also, the urge just isn't there. I get the desire to write about people, but not about sailing. I suppose there are ways to combine the two... but I've just never had the urge. And I know from experience that I can't just write because I wnat to write something... I have to be inspired first. I'm inspired to go sailing, but not to write about it.

Do other people find it easy to write about their lives & hobbies? Or do they always end up writing about completely different things, like love-sick vampires, interstellar warriors, spies, FBI agents, aliens, and guerilla war soldiers who fight oppressors with human-shaped tanks?