Coldplay makes me want to write songfic. I'm supposed to be OVER that phase.

I've been listening to "Fix You" by Coldplay.

Sometimes I hate Coldplay. Just for being Coldplay. Do you get that? Trust me, it makes sense if you're me. Sometimes I love their music, because, dammit, it's Coldplay, and there's piano and there's melodies that build and build and there's Chris Martin's lovely voice that yeah couldn't do opera but is really really good for his kind of music and better than the voices of most pop singers. I mean, god, it's Coldplay. I love them.

But I also sometimes hate them. Because they're Coldplay. And though their songs are lovely sometimes they sound too similar to me (until I listen closely, and then they don't at all), or I'm so tired of being happy with them that the only recourse I have is to temporarily hate them again. Not because they're deserving of my hate, but just because they can't be that fucking perfect all the time, can they? They can't STILL be writing that makes me fucking swoon existentially, can they? Fucking "Politik".

I can go a year without hearing "The Scientist" or I can go two hours without hearing it, but as soon as it comes on again I'm *right* *there* with the song. In song mode. Fucking Coldplay.

So I'm listening to "Fix You" this week and it's just so fucking pretty and right and moving and perfect that I hate it.

Except I don't hate it. Because it genuinely moves me and I'm thinking about writing fanfic just listening to the words.

Come on Coldplay. Give me something here! A sex scandal. A drunken brawl. A temporary break-up that shatters fans across the globe. A really really bad pop song in duet with Ashley Simpson. Give me a reason beyond "I named my kid Apple" to make me think you're fallible and normal like the rest of us.

BTW, when I went to your concert three years ago, was it absolutely necessary for Chris Martin bounce across the stage with a giant beach ball looking like the most adorable thing since the little boy in Love Actually? Is it absolutely necessary for Martin to be that cute? Can't he be an asshole or something? MUST HE BE ADORABLE, REALLY?


Look at this stuff:

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you


God dammit, why can't you suck? Suck, dammit! Let me hate you! Stop writing songs with lyrics like this! "Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones" ? Fuck you, I love that stuff! It's obscure and symbolic and awesome and GUH and it being so wonderful means I can't properly hate you because I love you, dammit. Fucking Coldplay.


Oh, and one more thing. You make me resent the fact that I don't have a boyfriend. That's just not fucking fair.