Bemoaning the lack of longevity in recent fanficdoms.

I spent an embarrassing amount of time last night and today reading epic Draco/Hermione fics from this fan awards list. "Valentine Encounter" (scroll down) was pretty good, and now I'm in the middle of a DISTURBINGLY LONG epic fic "Draco: Phoenix Rising." For the record, my weakness for Draco/Hermione fic is purely fanon-based, and completely separate from my canon character interpretations.

Sometimes I look at the fandom popularity of Harry Potter, and I want to cry. It's just not fair. When every other fandom has been overrun by the drabble trend for the last 5 years, HP fandom chugs along at a happy pace with an absolutely revolting amount of epic chapter fics. Seriously! Do you KNOW how many epic Draco/Hermione fics are out there? A LOT. And that's for an unconventional and non-canon pairing. That's not even looking at the epic fics for canon het pairings, or the amount written for slash pairings.

All that talent! It makes me want to weep, because what I wouldn't give to read a 150,000 word, 40 chapter epic written for Princess Tutu, or Fruits Basket, or The Twelve Kingdoms, or any other quality series, tv or flm or anime. There are some very popular fandoms, like ATLA or Doctor Who, that have a fair number of long fics....but still NOTHING like what you get for HP fandom. Honestly, the only fandoms I'm familiar with right now that come even close to matching the number of long fics in HP are LOTR and Naruto. This didn't used to be the case... when I originally got into fandom, with 90s anime and then with Jossverse and Highlander and X Files, epics weren't just a special luxury, they were outright common.

I've never been able to complete an epic fic, always being stuck with short fics, one-shots, and ficlets. But now I'm sad that other people aren't even trying, because drabbles are so popular and easy.

Long-Term Fics: the To-Do list

Potential Epic Fics I've Yet To Finish

Our Cartography: [Avatar: The Last Airbender] My post-first season AU epic friendship/UST/adventure fic for Katara and Zuko, that got derailed after the season 2 premier stole one of my climax ideas and sent me into a crushing spiral of envy-angst. As akavertigo said, most writers are jealous, maniacal, and possessive about our ideas. Having them stolen by canon is almost worse than having plaigarized by another fan, cause I've nobody to be properly mad at. I'm still getting over this, and there are very strong chances I'll get back to this fic.

Salience & Synergy: [Avatar: The Last Airbender] My season 1 AU fic, with Iroh teaching Aang to firebend while he sits in Zuko's ship on the way to the Fire Nation capital. I still have hopes of finishing this one, actually. I love the idea of writing something trancendental, something that has nothing to do with romance and everything to do with philosophy and spirituality. Aang and Zuko have such a heavy dynamic, as do Iroh and Zuko.

The Mindwalker Ninja: [Naruto] My epic Ino Yamanaka life-fic, an AU that would span 20 years and see her through relationships with Shikamaru and Sasuke. This one has a lot of outlining done, particularly with regards to Ino's part in the final battle with Orochimaru, and with Sasuke's future. I stopped writing it because Naruto came off haiatus after the age jump, and I began to lose interest in the fandom, and the Ino that came out of more manga began to differ from my idea of Ino, who was half OC anyway given that we knew so little about her. Still, there's a lot of potential for writing more with this.

Mon Autre Vie: [Fruits Basket] My would-be epic Tohru Honda / Sohma family drama fic, which was based on a damn cool premise, if I do say so myself. Again, I began to grow distant from the fandom, particularly when I stopped reading the manga scanlatioons and subsequently had to give up on fanfic for fear of being spoiled. I had a good deal outlined for this fic, though not as much as the two above, and I wish I could write more even though I somehow doubt I'll get back to it.

Dane: [Harry Potter] A result of my Shakespeare crush, a massive epic based on fusing Harry Potter and Hamlet, a post-book 5 AU that would have had the students of Hogwarts unwittingly play out the entire play all the way to its tragic ending. It would have been really fucking cool, if I hadn't lost the massive outline I did for it. A full break down of character roles and plotlines, incredible amounts of detail... all gone. I was pretty upset about it, trust me.

Orpheus Child: [Cowboy Bebop] The closest thing I've done to outlining a complete novel, and it would have been one of the best fics I'd written. A post-series fic about Spike rediscovering his life, about family ties and blood and love and friendship, about the horrors of adulthood and childhood. Somewhere I have an outline for this SOMEWHERE I DO. I just don't know where it is right now. But it was a great outline, plotting the major events of each chapter, the emotional arcs of each character, the themes, allusions, and metaphors of the story, the thrilling climax, and even chapter titles pulled exclusively from poems by e. e. cummings and Shel Silverstein, as part of the mythology/children's story motif. And now it's been so very long since I watched CB... I wouldn't even remember how to write Spike's dialogue, or Jet's or Ed's dialogue.

51 Ways To Draw A Perfect Circle : [Fullmetal Alchemist] My once grand idea to do a drabble for every episode of FMA, each in a different character (50 total). I only got so far as 10, but I selected the main characters for all 51. Next time I sit down to watch an FMA marathon, I might take it up again and finish.


It's kind of depressing that "I lost the outline" the major reason for most of these fics dying, isn't it? And for the rest, it's lost interest. My interest wanders too easily, I'm sad to say, when it comes to fiction writing. Hopefully I'll get over that one day. You'll notice that neither of my two ATLA long drabble series, Night Has Come or Culture Clash, are up here. That's because they're too skimpy in word count to be called epic, and also because I plan on writing more for them, beyond all doubt.

1st poem: "moon and sun and something grey", filk for Buffy The Vampire Slayer fandom

I wrote this poem in 2002, a sort of fanfiction thing, which I used to do quite a lot of in high school but hardly ever do anymore. This one is a strange, abstract thing that has very little in it that is strictly BTVS... it could be read as not having to do with the show at all. But in my mind, it's for Spike.


"moon and sun and something grey"


fancy me with something grey
or maybe just some black and red
with guns and nails and pointy eyes
yes grey’s the thing, i think
not too much black you see,
i’m not quite dark as that
maybe was, but isn’t now
though there’s a one or two who’ll swear
my hat is bloodied and brown,
not white at all
and they’re closer than i want you to know

but you, well look at you!
all cream and yellow and orange
like needles in my eyes
didn’t anyone tell you too much sun can be a bad thing?
must be the california in you
spoiled little ray-child,
all righteous with your glowy skin matching hair
and that damn white cover you can’t lose for a minute.
you must’ve been odd as a brat,

no think thinking caps for you, it’s
did you remember your justice cap today dear?
wear it golden proud
and strike down the unvaliant, the unright, the made ungood
you and your stupid sunlight are all the same
all big-eyed laughter but no sense of humor
irony goes over your head, in my un-asked opinion

me? i’m a moon person, not that it matters to you
you of the
light and bright and all that morning shininess,
of the
i’m so happy in the sun in love and warm and—

—as I was saying,
a moon person, really;
stars are pretty too
but they’re really only little suns, so they don’t count.
in moonlight i could be green or blue or violet
i could be just like one of yours
…and i guess i’d still be only darkly grey
but it’s a pleasant thought, n’est-ce pas?

if you’d come out at night and see,
a moonbeam makes everything grey
orange is grey
and brown is grey
and grey is grey still
and you’re much prettier where i can see you
for real

the moonlight on your hair like that
i say
is maybe worth more than days in the sun,
not that it matters to you.

2nd poem: "Braggart" by Dorothy Parker

This is a poem I ran into ages ago, and its always reminded me of BTVS, particularly characters like Drusilla, Angelus, and Spike. I love the imagery of it, particularly the line "And you must go on breathing." The diction is stellar, and the meter and rhyme flow smoothly off the tongue. It's vivid and dark and I love it.



-Dorothy Parker-

"Braggart"


The days will rally, wreathing
Their crazy tarantelle;
And you must go on breathing,
But I'll be safe in hell.

Like January weather,
The years will bite and smart,
And pull your bones together
To wrap your chattering heart.

The pretty stuff you're made of
Will crack and crease and dry.
The thing you are afraid of
Will look from every eye.

You will go faltering after
The bright, imperious line,
And split your throat on laughter,
And burn your eyes with brine.

You will be frail and musty
With peering, furtive head,
Whilst I am young and lusty
Among the roaring dead.