phone etiquette - relatives
Feb. 2nd, 2004 05:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
timepiececlockHad a really weird phone conversation with my aunt's husband today. Let me clarify this relation tangle for you first: my uncle on my mother's side died when I was a child, and his wife, my aunt by marriage and through blood of my cousins, remarried. Her husband's name is John.
So John calls the house today, and I pick up and say hello. He says "This is John Xxxxx." I blink for a minute in confusion--- I only know one person by that name, the guy who is married to my aunt, but the WAY that he says it is so formal, as if he expects me not to know who he is and that he needs to give his full name, that I am thrown for a moment and begin to wonder if it IS someone other than my step-uncle. Because wouldn't he talk to me like a relative, not a stranger? I would think so. So I ask him again to make sure.
"You said John Xxxxx right?"
And then the weirdest part: he says "Yes, Darren's step-dad."
That throws me for a good 12 seconds. You see, Darren is not my cousin (though we call each other Cuz). Darren is married to my cousin, Tracie. And John is not really Darren's step-dad, he's his step-dad-in-law. Why didn't he say he was Tracie's step-dad? Or my other cousin Jim's step-dad?
For that matter, why didn't he say he was Diane's John, or my uncle or something? I mean, I've never called him my uncle, but he kind of is, and at least if he had said that we wouldn't have had to had this confusing conversation.
I'm totally bewildered by this. Granted I don't know him very well, but I've hugged this guy and chatted with him multiple times at family gatherings, and known him for about 10 years at the least, and why the heck is he talking to me like a person I met a few days ago at a work-place?
Why are some people always so weird on the phone? It was bizarre, and uncomfortable, ya know? You expect your relatives, even those by marriage, to behave to you on the phone the way they do with you in person. His acting like a stranger was almost hurtful.
So John calls the house today, and I pick up and say hello. He says "This is John Xxxxx." I blink for a minute in confusion--- I only know one person by that name, the guy who is married to my aunt, but the WAY that he says it is so formal, as if he expects me not to know who he is and that he needs to give his full name, that I am thrown for a moment and begin to wonder if it IS someone other than my step-uncle. Because wouldn't he talk to me like a relative, not a stranger? I would think so. So I ask him again to make sure.
"You said John Xxxxx right?"
And then the weirdest part: he says "Yes, Darren's step-dad."
That throws me for a good 12 seconds. You see, Darren is not my cousin (though we call each other Cuz). Darren is married to my cousin, Tracie. And John is not really Darren's step-dad, he's his step-dad-in-law. Why didn't he say he was Tracie's step-dad? Or my other cousin Jim's step-dad?
For that matter, why didn't he say he was Diane's John, or my uncle or something? I mean, I've never called him my uncle, but he kind of is, and at least if he had said that we wouldn't have had to had this confusing conversation.
I'm totally bewildered by this. Granted I don't know him very well, but I've hugged this guy and chatted with him multiple times at family gatherings, and known him for about 10 years at the least, and why the heck is he talking to me like a person I met a few days ago at a work-place?
Why are some people always so weird on the phone? It was bizarre, and uncomfortable, ya know? You expect your relatives, even those by marriage, to behave to you on the phone the way they do with you in person. His acting like a stranger was almost hurtful.
