Your description is strong, but never distracts from the narrative. The characters are very well drawn. The atmosphere leaps off the page (I can hear the county music "raining" down)...
If I have one criticism, and this is more a personal hatred than a flaw per se, its that the first five paragraphs all begin with "Th" words ("The"s and "There"s). I know thats incredibly anal, but I spend a lot of time editing and that sort of repition grates at me a bit..
But not enough to stop this being the best piece of work I have read on the internet for about a month! Have you had much stuff published? If you haven't you should try, I have brought whole collections of short stories with out one piece the equal of this!
Errm...I am I now your biggest fan? Seriously though, I really enjoyed it.
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In the humble opinion of one who has had work published...
Date: 2002-12-12 09:57 am (UTC)It is excellent Rashaka!
Your description is strong, but never distracts from the narrative. The characters are very well drawn. The atmosphere leaps off the page (I can hear the county music "raining" down)...
If I have one criticism, and this is more a personal hatred than a flaw per se, its that the first five paragraphs all begin with "Th" words ("The"s and "There"s). I know thats incredibly anal, but I spend a lot of time editing and that sort of repition grates at me a bit..
But not enough to stop this being the best piece of work I have read on the internet for about a month! Have you had much stuff published? If you haven't you should try, I have brought whole collections of short stories with out one piece the equal of this!
Errm...I am I now your biggest fan? Seriously though, I really enjoyed it.