::winks at jaina, then hides::

[timepiececlock]

Thanks to sarah_p, I now have on my journal the

Get one of your own! by Drunken Hero Stalking is illegal. rashaka confronts jaina. jaina is stalking rashaka jaina’s REAL name : Samuel Ramsey jaina’s REAL DOB : 16th August 1984 Height :169 cm Weight : 51.4 kg jaina has dreamt about you : 10 times jaina became interested in you : 04th July 2004 jaina’s latest dream about you jaina dreamt that both of you died in each others arms in a rather bizarre rollercoaster accident. This is how jaina describes your relationship behind your back ‘Things are going great! She still won’t kiss me though in public. She will once I stop calling her in the middle of the night.’ jaina’s been stealing stuff from your house too. You know the way all of your baby teeth mysteriously disappeared? Well jaina has them. They've even started modifying their body for you jaina has tattooed their mental image of your genetalia onto their upper forearm. They sent the following message to you in a Valentines Words cannot express what you mean to me. I want us to be together forever. Do you fancy becoming siamese twins? My mother says she’ll pay for the operation. Apparently such a procedure has a 20% success rate. I’d do anything for our love, wouldn’t you? The Police No. calls to the police : 18 times Your Last Call to The Police "Dear Jesus no! Send around a squad car quick, I’ve just killed someone. Their name is jaina. Stop bloody laughing! That’s their real name! jaina threatened to kill me on multiple occasions and they came around tonight to finish off the job so I used my lava lamp in self defense and now the bastard's on the ground without a pulse." jaina’s Police File Personally I think we should have shot jaina whilst we had the chance. Testimonies about jaina spicedrum - Breastfeeder of Cats ‘To be honest there was always something about jaina that gave me the creeps. Gave off a really weird smell. Almost like a decomposing racoon.’ fadingembers - Fart N Flirt ‘I can’t believe what I’m hearing! jaina a stalker? Well I suppose it makes sense actually. That bastard had really shifty eyes...’ girlwithjournal - Stoner of the crows ‘I use the word cunt sparingly - it’s more effective that way. I’ve spent all morning texting jaina, with that word playing a key role in most of my messages.’

I knew it! I never should have let you buy me that fruity drink in LA. That was the same night I got my ass patted by a lesbian. You planned the whole thing, didn't you? ::waves lava lamp threateningly::




Then I couldn't resist doing it again.

Get one of your own! by Drunken Hero Stalked again, a rant by rashaka. octopedingenue is stalking rashaka octopedingenue’s REAL name : Soila Culleen octopedingenue’s REAL DOB : 09th May 1979 Height :170 cm Weight : 63.6 kg octopedingenue has dreamt about you : 8 times octopedingenue became interested in you : 02nd August 2002 octopedingenue’s latest dream about you octopedingenue dreamt that you had got married to another person. octopedingenue produced a shotgun at the ceremony, blowing off your partners head before they could complete their vows with a close-range shot. This is how octopedingenue describes your relationship behind your back ‘God its going fantastic. I’ve never felt happier……..ever. Nothing can go wrong now. Fuck tempting fate!’ octopedingenue’s been stealing stuff from your house too. octopedingenue has a vast collection of rashaka’s mothers cuttlery lying around their bedroom. For some reason only known to God They’ve even started modifying their body for you octopedingenue has rashaka tattooed right across their chest. They sent the following message to you in a Valentines I’d do anything for you. I’d give you the world if I owned it. But all I own is a Volkswagen Polo and a couple of STD’s. The Police No. calls to the police : 3 times Your Last Call to The Police "Hi, is that the police? This is rashaka, could you send someone over quick, a mad fucker by the name of octopedingenue is trying to knock my front door down with an axe." octopedingenue’s Police File octopedingenue would be a nothing more than a loveable rogue if it were not for their love of samurai swords. Testimonies about octopedingenue donna_c_punk - Ex-priest ‘It just goes to show that the world is full of sick, twisted perverts. I’m gonna fucking kill octopedingenue!’ shrift - Dry your eyes ‘To be honest I think rashaka and octopedingenue deserve each other. Both of them are fucking idiots.’ muzakgurrl - PopRocks-addicted cult comedian ‘It’s odd, I’ve known some weird fucks in my time and octopedingenue and rashaka would definitely top that list.’

Featuring testimonials from spicedrum, fadingembers, girlwithjournal, donna_c_punk, shrift, and muzakgurrl.

Comments

[easytodistract.livejournal.com]

(am amused but also very confused)

(needs to look up on what a meme is)

[muffytaj.livejournal.com]

That probably shouldn't have been as funny as I found it.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

I kind of think it is that funny. I really liked "so I used my lava lamp in self defense and now the bastard's on the ground without a pulse."

"octopedingenue would be a nothing more than a loveable rogue if it were not for their love of samurai swords."

[muffytaj.livejournal.com]

My meme ended up with my little brother testifying that I should have my head examined. >:(

Although the title "Breastfeeder of Cats" is slightly terrifying.