Books

[timepiececlock]

I'm now exactly halfway through The Time Traveler's Wife.

I think I'm in love with Henry. And maybe a little in love with Clare too. Can I be in love with both of them? And in love with them together?

-- but really, Henry. I mean, my god. A sexy hot librarian who also can do an assortment of illicit and dangerous things and runs around jumping through time and space? Who can do illicit things and run around in time and quote famous literature to you while doing so? How could anyone NOT be in love with Henry, I ask.

Though I admit I don't know if I'd want to be his wife. That would be hard. I'd be his girlfriend, though.


EDIT: My brain just did a fantastical leap of fandom (as brains are wont to do) and now it (my brain) is trying to think of ways that Henry could be compared to a grown-up Fakir from Princess Tutu. Is that weird or what?

Comments

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

Thank you for asking first. Afraid you just hit a tender spot with me; my dialogue is my baby and I can't give my baby away, whether its good or bad.

[jakia.livejournal.com]

Think this works as a replacement?

"--You told me just yesterday you wouldn’t go even if they made you. Why the change of heart?”

He shrugged lightly at her. “What about you? You’ve talked about nothing else for more than a week, and now that I’m offering to take you you don’t want to go? I find that hard to believe.”

She glared at him. “I don’t want to go, Zuko.”
X

(was that part about frothing the only bit you had a problem with? Not any of the other stuff?)

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

That is all your dialogue, not mine. The basic lay-out of the conversation is the same, but that's alright. I'm not gonna haggle over that-- heck knows I've read enough fic where I wanted to take a scene and rewrite it my own way.

You've added stuff I didn't-- Katara being tired, her mind-changing, Zuko's sudden change of heart. All of that is yours, not mine (in mine, Katara never said she wanted to go, Zuko can just read her well enough to see it, and Zuko generally doesn't talk about dancing at all so he would never have had a conversation saying he wouldn't go even if they made him-- actually, my Zuko would never allow for the possibility that someone not his uncle or father could "make" him do anything, he'd simply say "it's not happening" and leave it at that. And now he's not going because he likes dancing or even wants to go, but he knows Katara is secretly wishing he'd ask her, and although he doesn't want to go dancing he does want to take her out and make her happy, and he'll enjoy it just because he's with her.)

It's the explicit dialogue-lifting that really bothers me. What you have there seems fine.