How did you become a feminist?

[timepiececlock]

*NOTE: follow the link because there are guys in the GW.org discussions, too, and it's interesting to read their thoughts on self-identifying as feminists.

From Girl-Wonder.org to kphoebe to voleuse, my response to the question how I became a feminist:

It's remarkably similar to the response linked above, actually. It's not so much realizing that I was, it was realizing that other people weren't.

I was raised by two open-minded people who believed that women and men deserved equality, and that I could be anything I wanted to be in life.

When I grew up enough to realize that the world was a lot more sexist than the home that sheltered me, I intrinsically knew no one had the right to make me feel like I was less or worse because I was female. I don't remember any particular moment when that happened, because it feels like I've always known that.

My parents weren't perfect, and in little ways the sexism of their parents still influenced them, particularly in how jobs are divided within the domestic sphere. And there's a bit of the nature vs. nurture argument that's always in question, as I think my dad honestly believes that girls by nature are less inclined to certain activities. Not that they don't have every right to do them, but just that he expects they won't want to. We've had debates about this, and about how much is institionalized by society's messages to kids growing up, and how much really is biological.

Out of this you got a kid who was a feminist before she knew what the word meant, or even before she knew it wasn't a belief everyone else in the world held too. And when she realized that the rest of the world didn't necessarily believe that women were absolutely entitled to everything men were entitled to and that it's so stupid to imply otherwise that it shouldn't even be a question in a reasonable and logical society, well... she was pretty annoyed and somewhat disappointed in her fellow humans. Because she was a logical, pragmantic kid and anything less than equality just didn't make any sense. No sense at all.

You'll notice that in this matter, I haven't changed much in 22 years.

Comments

[duelingrose.livejournal.com]

I totally didn't know you were a feminist. ^-^ It fits.

And I mean that in no way other than to say, I'm nit surprised. It's not a bad thing, but there are times when this mantle is not a good thing. You wear the mantle well, but I know too many who wear it as a power symbol.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

Really? I'm surprised you didn't know. I always thought it was pretty obvious, since I actually vocalize about it often and always have, while some feminists don't mention it until it comes up in conversation.

It's not a bad thing, but there are times when this mantle is not a good thing. You wear the mantle well, but I know too many who wear it as a power symbol.

If you're referring to the stereotype of the angry man-hater stereotype as a power mantle, I can see how you'd regard taht as not a good thing. I've met a lot of feminists though, and the only angry manhaters I've ever seen have been the ones on television--not in person. I don't have much fear of that. Because it's not a mantle. It's not an identity or even a pure ideology in the same way that religion or political orientation is an ideology. It's a lot simpler than that: it's just the question of whether you believe that women and men both deserve equality in legal, professional, and personal rights.

If the answer is yes: congratulations, you're a feminist.

[donna-c-punk.livejournal.com]

t's a lot simpler than that: it's just the question of whether you believe that women and men both deserve equality in legal, professional, and personal rights.

If the answer is yes: congratulations, you're a feminist.

Everybody should be one, then. And if they're not, they're asshats. It's absolutely inexcusable that in the 21st Century anyone - male or female - would believe men and women shouldn't be completely equal in every aspect of life.

Now ... if only we could get people to feel the same way about the gay/lesbian/bi/trans community.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

Everybody should be one, then. And if they're not, they're asshats

Like I said: makes no sense at all. Asshats.

Now ... if only we could get people to feel the same way about the gay/lesbian/bi/trans community.

I'm more educated on that front than some, but not as educated as I feel I ought to be, sometimes.

[donna-c-punk.livejournal.com]

Now ... if only we could get people to feel the same way about the gay/lesbian/bi/trans community.

I'm more educated on that front than some, but not as educated as I feel I ought to be, sometimes.

Lewis Black made the truest statement in his last stand up show about this. Our community needs someone high profile with sway to speak for us, and in a position of power - like Congress. Unfortunately, it seems that when someone is "outed", it becomes a huge scandal, i.e. the guy who was writing nasty notes to page boys and the governor of some eastern state (I want to say New Jersey), so it furthers this stigma we're either immoral or crazy. I can understand why most would conceal their sexual preference, it's not a vote getter. Somebody's gonna have to get up and run while openly gay if we want to forward change.

[rasielle.livejournal.com]

You adored She-Ra, didn't you? I just remembered. :)

You know, it really shocked me when I found out that the term 'feminist' drew looks; really bad looks, at that. The day I learned there was a term for people who opposed sexism, I sort of stuck to the title of 'feminist' with a hellotta pride, and then I learned that it was something ridiculed on TV, often associated with images of burly women.

In truth, the media is simply confusing the term 'feminist' with 'female supremacist', because there is no way the public can look down on women-and-men equality. In the case of 'female supremacist', I definitely get where they're coming from; women claiming to be superior to men is just as bad as what history features. Still, though, I demand that they would be more careful with the terminology; people are forgetting that feminism is all about equality, and nothing about supremacy. Nor is it about advocating bras and neglecting to shave. I don't want to see the term 'feminist' used as a target for ridicule ever, ever again.

[jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com]

Someone mentioned what a loaded word "feminist" is, and so I think that's why I avoid using it. I mean, I am a feminist, in the basic sense of the word--but at the same time my life hasn't been as negatively affected by the sexism that has affected a lot of the more go-get-'em feminists I've met.

I'm just afraid of the trap of the Buffy feminism--making the jump from empowerment and equality to superiority.

Then again, I come from a family where my mother refused to buy me a little play kitchen because she wanted me to have a balance of "boy" and "girl" toys, and not trap me in some "domestic bliss" sort of belief. I eventually did get the kitchen, because my father pointed out that he was the one who did all the cooking.

Ultimately, I believe in moderation in all things. I also believe that some people's brains are more wired towards some things than others, and that it's entirely possible that men are more wired towards some things and women towards others, and also that society does impose certain gender identities on us. But beyond that...I struggle with the issue, because I wouldn't mind being a stay-at-home mom, but that's a personal choice of mine, and not one I think should be imposed on others. I also do plan on getting my degree and finding some useful contribution I can make towards society. It's just difficult for me to discuss equality, because I suppose people don't take me as seriously when I saw I wouldn't mind staying home with my children, at least while they're young. *shrugs*