writer's whine #2
Jan. 25th, 2003 12:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
timepiececlockIs there such a thing as integrity in writing? Or is it all whatever you want, for whatever reason?
Do people write because they have this story that they need to tell, or just because they're bored and no one else is doing it?
I mean-- why do people write, be it fanfic or orginal creations?
Is writing fanfic always a masturbatory act, like self-insertions (and argueably Real Person fic)?
I don't think so-- I'd argue that that is why I read fanfic, not why I write it. For example, I sit and wonder, "What would it be like if Buffy had Spike's baby?" Then, I go read a pregnancy fic or three. I think "I'd like to see what would happen if Buffy went back in time and met pre-vamp Spike," -- and then I find a William/time-travel fic to read, maybe more than one; as many as it takes before my curiosity is satisfied. It's all about reading a fic that satisfies those desires--of what I want the characters to do, to see, to feel--that isn't already part of canon.
For me, writing fic isn't about that. I've never finished a fic that I started because "I wanted to read it and no one else was writing one."
When I write something, I do so because I feel like there's this story, and I have to tell it-- because it needs to be told. Even if no one reads it, or if I don't share it with anyone, I feel like I'm betraying myself if I don't somehow write it down. I get inspired to write fic randomly, in any situation or at any moment. Then I get this powerful urge to 'WRITE IT DOWN, WRITE IT DOWN NOW!' I've started stuff, original and fic, on things like table napkins, my arm, notebook paper---whatever surface is available at the moment. I have to, because if I don't I'll forget it, and I feel like I can't forget it, because it needs to be written.
I've tried writing fanfic when I'm bored, with nothing else to do. I've tried writing fanfic to distract myself in a class at school. None of that works-- it's all crap, and I throw it away the next minute. I have to be inspired before I write anything that I feel is worth reading, is worth showing to other people.
I know that I'm not a very good or very experienced writer yet, on the scale of things. I'm not writing a novel right now, and I haven't had any short stories published in magazines or papers. But I take writing very seriously, and I consider myself a writer. Why? because it's how I look at everything around me.
I read the ad on the back of the cereal box and I think "You know, that would have sounded much better if they'd switched these two phrases and erased that one entirely." I do this ALL THE TIME. I have this great desire to "fix" the bad lines in films. Even in other people's fanfic. I'm can be annoying sometimes in conversation, when the person talking to me is struggling for a word and I automatically spew out two or three that would sound really good in the previous context of their sentence. I am constantly rewriting my own conversational comments in my head after I've already said them, polishing them up and rethinking them, even though they've already be said.
((ETA: See-- even right there! I was rereading the entry after posting it and wanted to go back and fix that last paragraph because I used the word "said" twice in one sentence, and everyone knows that's a Bad Thing))
It was sometime in the last two years, in high school, that I sort of realized that I think of myself as a writer. Because it's what I think about, constantly. How to turn a phrase, how to say exactly what you mean, how to speak prettily and get your poitn across at the same time. Hoe to get a particular emotional reaction from the audience you're writing/speaking to. How to play upon what you know about that audience or person in order to get that reaction.
I guess what I'm asking is, is this what writing is like for other people? Is writing---be it fanfic or original fic-- is it something that is always in the back of your heads?
Do people write because they have this story that they need to tell, or just because they're bored and no one else is doing it?
I mean-- why do people write, be it fanfic or orginal creations?
Is writing fanfic always a masturbatory act, like self-insertions (and argueably Real Person fic)?
I don't think so-- I'd argue that that is why I read fanfic, not why I write it. For example, I sit and wonder, "What would it be like if Buffy had Spike's baby?" Then, I go read a pregnancy fic or three. I think "I'd like to see what would happen if Buffy went back in time and met pre-vamp Spike," -- and then I find a William/time-travel fic to read, maybe more than one; as many as it takes before my curiosity is satisfied. It's all about reading a fic that satisfies those desires--of what I want the characters to do, to see, to feel--that isn't already part of canon.
For me, writing fic isn't about that. I've never finished a fic that I started because "I wanted to read it and no one else was writing one."
When I write something, I do so because I feel like there's this story, and I have to tell it-- because it needs to be told. Even if no one reads it, or if I don't share it with anyone, I feel like I'm betraying myself if I don't somehow write it down. I get inspired to write fic randomly, in any situation or at any moment. Then I get this powerful urge to 'WRITE IT DOWN, WRITE IT DOWN NOW!' I've started stuff, original and fic, on things like table napkins, my arm, notebook paper---whatever surface is available at the moment. I have to, because if I don't I'll forget it, and I feel like I can't forget it, because it needs to be written.
I've tried writing fanfic when I'm bored, with nothing else to do. I've tried writing fanfic to distract myself in a class at school. None of that works-- it's all crap, and I throw it away the next minute. I have to be inspired before I write anything that I feel is worth reading, is worth showing to other people.
I know that I'm not a very good or very experienced writer yet, on the scale of things. I'm not writing a novel right now, and I haven't had any short stories published in magazines or papers. But I take writing very seriously, and I consider myself a writer. Why? because it's how I look at everything around me.
I read the ad on the back of the cereal box and I think "You know, that would have sounded much better if they'd switched these two phrases and erased that one entirely." I do this ALL THE TIME. I have this great desire to "fix" the bad lines in films. Even in other people's fanfic. I'm can be annoying sometimes in conversation, when the person talking to me is struggling for a word and I automatically spew out two or three that would sound really good in the previous context of their sentence. I am constantly rewriting my own conversational comments in my head after I've already said them, polishing them up and rethinking them, even though they've already be said.
((ETA: See-- even right there! I was rereading the entry after posting it and wanted to go back and fix that last paragraph because I used the word "said" twice in one sentence, and everyone knows that's a Bad Thing))
It was sometime in the last two years, in high school, that I sort of realized that I think of myself as a writer. Because it's what I think about, constantly. How to turn a phrase, how to say exactly what you mean, how to speak prettily and get your poitn across at the same time. Hoe to get a particular emotional reaction from the audience you're writing/speaking to. How to play upon what you know about that audience or person in order to get that reaction.
I guess what I'm asking is, is this what writing is like for other people? Is writing---be it fanfic or original fic-- is it something that is always in the back of your heads?
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no subject
Date: 2003-01-25 02:26 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-01-25 02:31 pm (UTC)::blinks::
God, that was really stupid.
That's what you get for train-of-thought writing.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-25 05:08 pm (UTC)I know that I feel myself being tugged toward easy solutions in my writing, and I try to resist. Is that integrity? Of course, a lot of the time, I don't resist successfully, but, hey, I try. I write because I just have to, and then I follow my instincts. Ultimately, it's the characters that matter. What would they realistically do? That has to be what is first in my mind.
God, that sounded preachy, but that's the way it felt.
Re:
Date: 2003-01-25 06:02 pm (UTC)I'd say that's how it is for me, too.
And I don't mean "integrity" is necessarily good or close-to-canon writing, or writing which completely lacks self-indulgence. I was thinking more of a vague, situational-specific type of integrity. I know that I don't take the internet seriously much, but I do take my own writing very seriously. And because it's something I feel passionate about, I feel there is a level of integrity involved, though it may vary in definition depending on the type of writing I'm doing.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-26 11:37 am (UTC)Writing is hard work. Writing is the most wonderful thing in the world. It has intergrity and honour.
I think a lot of people do what you do with ceral box adverts/newspaper articels, hell anything. Perhaps every writer is also a editor (crouching writer hidden editor anyone?)
I understand what you are saying when you talk about the urge to write stuff down, but for me part of the quest is to get stuff published. Its why I don't write fan fics, not because they are lesser acts of writing, but because they are near impossible to publish.
I think (based on that one story i read) you should try get something published. Your certainly good enought and the feeling is fanatastic! Try it!
Re:
Date: 2003-01-26 11:49 am (UTC)That's a good point; if I did want to write something serious I woodn't be writing fanfic at the same time. It's just that most of my original stories have not been as good as the fanfic, I don't know why. So I've never had the urge to send them in anywhere.