A tiny Iron Man fic blurb: for redbrunja

[timepiececlock]

redbrunja has opinions on the very, very specific circumstances when using the term "pepperony" for ship purposes is acceptable... very nearly almost never.

Category: Humor
Rating: PG-est thing that ever flirted with G


La Pepper-ony Pizzaz

Tony Stark clicked his heels together, more than once, in a way that was not at all like Dorothy Gale because obscenely affluent grown men did not in any way seek to embody the traits of a meteorologically-challenged pig-tailed child, despite the fact that an obscenely affluent grown man could absolutely do so, if he should choose to, and no one would say anything because he was, after all, Tony Stark. In response, little white and red text blinked on the board above him, beside garish photos and an excess of dollar signs.

"Miss Potts, refresh my addled and mildly inebriated cerebellum: why are we here?"

Pepper Potts rifled through her purse, an activity she would not normally do in her boss's presence, but he wasn't in any shape tonight to notice a temporary lack of organization. "Why are we here in line for pizza, Mr. Stark, or why are we here in the multiverse at large?"

"Um, the pizza. I like that you said multiverse, though. I knew you were bright when I hired you."

"Thank you, Mr. Stark. We are in a pizza parlor because we ran out of gas, and it's late, and you have a highly aggressive grudge against Denny's that you refuse to explain to me despite its going back several years prior to my employment and regularly costing your own company 3 million dollars in shared stock options. You personally are in line at a pizza parlor because you threw up in the limo and couldn't wait through the smell. What would you like on your dinner?"

Tony stark swayed a little, but he was a superhero and Iron Man is most definitely not the kind of superhero who collapses in places that are so...so... public.

"I want...I would like...what are you getting?"

Miss Potts gave him a level stare and her most pleasant personal assistant smile. "Cheese and peppers."

Tony Stark giggled. Then he realized it, and stopped. He coughed, and everything swirled for a moment before righting itself again, centered on the elegant and somewhat distant face of Miss Potts. He thought she might, might, be annoyed, but it was powerfully hard to tell with her sometimes. "Uh, I'll split with you. Pepperoni on my half." He smothered another giggle.

Her level look continued. Flat, even, and totally unreadable. Oh, she was definitely annoyed. "Of course," she said at last, and gave the clerk their orders with a voice smooth as lacquer.

Eight minutes later, the pizza appeared on the counter before them, lid open to verify they were getting their fair worth of grease per dime. Stark looked down at it, smiled big, and put an arm over Miss Pott's shoulder companionably.

He pointed at his chest, then hers. "Tony, Pepper. Pepper, this is our creation, La Pepper-ony Pizzaz. I'm sure many more fantastic collaborations are sure to follow, though we probably ought to name them respectable things like Charles, or Jessica, or Sue if I really hate the youngest boy."

"Mr. Stark."

"Yes?"

"I quit."

"Oh, that's not necessary. But I'm not at all surprised you're taking the legalities into account; that's very you."

Miss Potts sighed. She ducked under Stark's arm and snatched the pizza box. "Let's go outside, then, and while we eat we can discuss how expensive it will be for you to rehire me."

"Great idea. Do I get to ask you the invasive personal questions I hear you aren't supposed to ask?"

"Have you ever been interviewed for a job, Mr. Stark?"

He pushed through the doors to the parlor and held them for her, but not in a very secure way. "I don't think so. Hmmm... no. Can't say I have."

"I expect it will go swimmingly, then."



********

Does she call him Sir? I can't remember.

When you write fic for a pairing you've only seen once in a two hour movie a week ago and otherwise know nothing about, things happen. Such as the curious fact that Tony Stark becomes a direct psychic conduit for Tamaki of Ouran when he's drunk. And also, has a head so full of math and explosive chemical equations that he is completely incapable of making small life decisions without consulting his trusty and responsible personal assistant. Who absolutely does not talk like Riza Hawkeye, how dare you suggest such a thing.

Edit: I kind of want someone to write an epic fic about why Tony Stark hates all Denny's, everywhere, everywhen.

Comments

[mswyrr]

Hee! Cute. I like their dynamic, and how drunk!Tony's planning their future "collaborations'" names. The Tony/Pepper portmanteau has made me wince rather a lot since I watched the film and went looking for fic. Even more than LoVe used to, because at least that doesn't bring to mind the flavor of salted pork products.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

I'm glad Tony works for you, since I have no idea what his canon comic character is like, and basically tried to imagine RDJ in a pizza parlor. I decided, after I wrote the scene then reread it, that the most in-character thing for Tony I could probably claim later was his "...what are you getting?" chicken-out answer, which for some reason I can totally imagine happening.

since I watched the film and went looking for fic

I haven't tried yet. I admit I'm intimidated by the idea of a pre-existing decades-old comic fandom and prior canon unknown to me. Especially since I fell in love with *this* version.

[mswyrr]

I haven't tried yet. I admit I'm intimidated by the idea of a pre-existing decades-old comic fandom and prior canon unknown to me. Especially since I fell in love with *this* version.

The fic seems to be dividing up the way X Men fic did, into movie-verse stuff, comic-verse stuff, and stuff with touches of both. The folks over at tonypepper are pretty much all about the movie-verse in their fic. Apparently, Tony/Pepper isn't really viable in the comic-verse... ((cries))

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

Damn you I just joined.

[mswyrr]

Heh! There's some good stuff there.

[jezunya.livejournal.com]

Apparently, Tony/Pepper isn't really viable in the comic-verse...

I believe this is true of more recent comics, but if you go waaaay back, like original 60's black-and-white comics, Tony & Pepper actually have a for real canon romantic relationship. She ends up with Happy, mostly because Tony apprently feels that he can't have a real relationship what with his heart ready to go kaput any second, but he continues to have strong feelings for her throughout the rest of that series. (This is, at least, what I've gleaned from some casual research into our characters' past lives...)

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

do you have any recs?

certainly!

[mswyrr]

gabby-silang

Proof
(best 'shipper fic in the fandom, imo)
http://gabby-silang.livejournal.com/210221.html

Clarity
http://gabby-silang.livejournal.com/210948.html

Posthuman
(gen-ish, best fic in the movie fandom)
http://gabby-silang.livejournal.com/212416.html

mekosuchinae - the city of los angeles v. iron man
(Tony gets his ass sued for property damage! Hah.)
http://mekosuchinae.livejournal.com/22255.html

(gorgeous vignettes -- she's got more listed, too)
http://community.livejournal.com/tonypepper/12054.html


seren_ccd - A Proposal. Maybe.
http://seren-ccd.livejournal.com/6145.html


A good recs list by another person, for more fun:
http://del.icio.us/k8andrewz/tony/pepper

[rodlox.livejournal.com]

this is a very fun shortfic. and no less enjoyable for its length.

thank you for writing and sharing this.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

thanks, glad you liked it!

[dafnap.livejournal.com]

"Let's go outside, then, and while we eat we can discuss how expensive it will be for you to rehire me."

Oh that was just too perfect. Loved Drunk!Tony and the fact that you had them flirt and banter without resorting to sexual harassment. Your Tony and Long Suffer Pepper are adorable.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

:D Thanks!

and Long Suffer Pepper

::snicker:: That's a very apt nickname, I think.

[dafnap.livejournal.com]

*Long Suffering, even. Boy, I'm slow today.

Still, your fic ruled :D

[meli-64.livejournal.com]

Great! :D

[lazaefair.livejournal.com]

It's 2:44 in the morning, so the only comment I'm capable of making is: :D

[seren-ccd.livejournal.com]

Oh that was adorable! Hilarious.

Miss Potts sighed. She ducked under Stark's arm and snatched the pizza box. "Let's go outside, then, and while we eat we can discuss how expensive it will be for you to rehire me."

Spot on delivery there! Would love to see more...

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

Thank you! That seems to be the line several people liked. I can just imagine exchanges like this (and like the one about her birthday present in the movie) must happen a lot between them.

[nindeoronra.livejournal.com]

This story was hysterical! Great job!

[bennet-7.livejournal.com]

"Tony, Pepper. Pepper, this is our creation, La Pepper-ony Pizzaz. I'm sure many more fantastic collaborations are sure to follow, though we probably ought to name them respectable things like Charles, or Jessica, or Sue if I really hate the youngest boy."

This made me laugh out loud.

Fantastic fic! Thanks for sharing!

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

Always glad to get a laugh. *g*

[jezunya.livejournal.com]

This was awesome, absolutely loved it! ...And I don't know about anyone else here, but ever since I learned the name of this particular ship, I've been looking forward to the next time I get pizza, just so I can make a crack about the topping... xD

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

I plan to cheerfully forget the misnomer as soon as possible because I think it's way too silly, but I appreciate the humor possibilities in mocking.

[ancarett]

I eagerly await your Tony Stark vs. Denny's story.

In the meantime, let me applaud you for this gem of a short story. So much fun!

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

I don't plan to write it; I'm hoping someone else will. Interested?

Thanks a lot, glad you had fun.

[alafemmefatale.livejournal.com]

"Pepper, this is our creation, La Pepper-ony Pizzaz. I'm sure many more fantastic collaborations are sure to follow, though we probably ought to name them respectable things like Charles, or Jessica, or Sue if I really hate the youngest boy."

"Mr. Stark."

"Yes?"

"I quit."

"Oh, that's not necessary. But I'm not at all surprised you're taking the legalities into account; that's very you."

LMAO, I love it! hope you write more TS/PP, you've got a knack for the dialog:)

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

I just tried to picture the two of them in a pizza parlor, and then tried to give Stark (who looks like RDJ in my mental video, of course) about two or three times the dialogue he needs, then parse it down. And then I had to give Pepper a monologue too, because she's got to hold up her end of any conversation with Tony Stark.

[irrel.livejournal.com]

Oh... no... what have you started? Now I have to read more Pepper/Tony fic, you do realize that, right? I was trying SO hard not to.

*joins the pepper/tony comm*

That was amazingly funny, btw XD

I accept full blame for everything except the fact that RDJ's Iron Man was born to be ficced.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

You can blame me, I can take it.

Look at the comments above, mswyrr gave me a rec list! And it is full of great.

I mean. It's terrible.

And honestly, I just joined this fandom yesterday. Though in spirit, I've probably been a member for two weeks now.

Re: I accept full blame for everything except the fact that RDJ's Iron Man was born to be ficced.

[irrel.livejournal.com]

You think I didn't read all those recs already? Shame on you.

[shigoasakura.livejournal.com]

OMG, very funny :D !