Two funny things for you all
Feb. 2nd, 2003 11:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
timepiececlockThis is an ad tag-line for my favorite local (south SF Bay Area) radio station (repeated before/after commercials, in a woman's voice) which I believe to be a silent shout-out to Buffy:
"We here at channel one-oh-four-nine bring you the latest rock alternative during the day and at night spend our time killing the zombies that roam freely about Sunnyvale."
::giggle::
**
an email I got tonight from the dad-unit
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was "so profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats).
One student wrote the following answer:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that:
"it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,"
...and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
The student received the only "A" given.
**
I rather liked the bit about all souls going to hell as a basis for the proof.
"We here at channel one-oh-four-nine bring you the latest rock alternative during the day and at night spend our time killing the zombies that roam freely about Sunnyvale."
::giggle::
**
an email I got tonight from the dad-unit
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was "so profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats).
One student wrote the following answer:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that:
"it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,"
...and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
The student received the only "A" given.
**
I rather liked the bit about all souls going to hell as a basis for the proof.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Too much time on my hands....
Date: 2003-02-03 01:14 am (UTC)I am seen this e-mail, unfortunatly I could disprove the "students" (I think this is just an urban legend, when I saw it the student was setting a test paper for an unamed ivy league college..) answer.
It is based upon the flawed premise that souls have mass. All churches teach that a soul HAS no mass. In fact the "vacum" theory of space (which allowed the existence of things with no mass) was one scientific theories to receive full church approval because it allowed millions of angels to battle in a pin head and all those other peculiar things angels do!
Oh, and if we are to believe the most famous account of a journey through hell, then Teresa should have slept with him! According to Dante (the inferno is good fun!)the deepest part of hell is ice cold and Lucifier himself sleeps in the middle of a frozen lake! In fact he "ice skates" to work eveyday!
Yes I know it was just a bit of fun and I had to go all Giles on it, but hey this is what happens when you teach a boy theology, literature and science!
Oh, the cold all cleared up now?
Re: Too much time on my hands....
Date: 2003-02-03 01:29 am (UTC)Thanks for asking; I'm in teh final days. My voice is strong and my nose is far less runny. I'm still coughing, but it's not as much.
heh. My dad's just catching it now. I know I should feel bad for him, but he was so smug earlier for not being sick.
It is based upon the flawed premise that souls have mass.
Well, you could also argue that Hell is a state of mind, not a place at all, so really I think you're splitting hairs here. :shrug:
Re: Too much time on my hands....
Date: 2003-02-03 04:49 am (UTC)Well I did study law! Splitting hairs is supposed to be my breed and butter!
Oh the church England was going to declare hell..."the absence of God". then some smart arse pointed out that would make earth hell....
Well that will teach your father! My brother is normally the smug one who never gets ill!
no subject
Date: 2003-02-03 08:15 am (UTC)Are you a god , A man, a ghost a guru?
Date: 2003-02-03 09:28 am (UTC)Ok your quoting Nick Cave & Bad Seeds...
Now I am worried
no subject
Date: 2003-02-03 11:50 am (UTC)You'll see him in your head, on the TV screen, and hey buddy I'm warning you to turn it off...
Re:
Date: 2003-02-04 10:47 am (UTC)"Moloch"