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On the way home from school this afternoon, I found myself listening to Sting's "Desert Rose" on the radio, and thinking, This would make a great Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon video.

Then I wondered... are there any Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon videos out there?

"It was a bloody revelation!" ... an open letter to Peter Jackson and fantasy readers everywhere

Go now to This Post by inkbug. Scroll down 3/4 of the way-- don't get stuck on the bigger-than-life-sized picture of JM, that's just there to make your brain fizzle and distract you--- down to the long-haired Hugh Jackman.

Look, long, and hard, at his expression. Look at the set of his mouth. His eyes. His nose. Ignore the hair (pretty though it may be), and look at the lines of his face.

You know what I see?

I see Roland of Gilead, in eight to ten years. I see The Gunslinger.

For a while now I've said that no one could play Roland in a film because Clint Eastwood is old and he was the only one who could have done it right...the only who had The Look.

That perfect blend of gruff attractiveness, hardness, meanness, cold-blooded killer but passionate warrior look. That obstinant, semi-insane, scary as hell but trust-inspiring look.

Now look at Hugh Jackman again. Look at that oh-so-serious expression.

He's tall, and has perfect coloring. He can wear the grit and grime and black hair and still be tough as nails. He's very muscled in the Xmen films, but if he lost some muscle-weight and went for the toned, lean, travel-wearied body... GUHHH.

He even has the same mouth shape as the picture of Roland on my icon. It's his destiny!

Any sci-fi/fantasy reader worth their salt knows that a new Dark Tower book came out in December. The next two will be out within the year. Stephen King will have brought his ka-tet to the Tower, and there will be an end.

So, to that I present a letter: ( Dear Peter Jackson... )

Hey, I am NOT!

What LotR Mary Sue cliche are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I wouldn't be evil. According to the answers I gave, I should be : a human witch who lives in Rohan, who is travelling because I was forced from my home, who has no angst just a lot of hunger pains, no romantic interest as of late, carries a small sword and a few herbs, knows some spells and potions, has blond-brown-red hair and grey eyes, is looking for a job, and came upon Rivendell because, frankly, I was walking and it was in my way.

Which, of cooooooooourse, is all much less cliche than this "I am Sauron's Daughter" crap. After all, Legolas would never fall in love with Sauron's daughter (I've met her, the big ho), so obviously this quiz is just completely wrong. ::pets the slightly drugged-looking blond Elf on her arm::

Eowyn/Legolas? What madness is this?

So I stumbled across a site for the site for the Eowyn/Legolas ship. I spent a moment looking at the pictures on the main page, and the predominant thought in my head was:"Hey...you know...they would have really pretty blond children."

Is "they would have really pretty blond children" a legitimate reason to ship a pairing? It feels a bit silly to me...

In most cases I'm an Aragorn/Eowyn shipper. I had hearts for the ( spoilers )

it has never quite set in permanently.

I don't really see any connection between Eowyn and Legolas at all (except for mutual devotion to Aragorn's cause, perhaps), but heck, they're pretty, and look pretty together, and I'll give it a try.

EDIT: Well damn, I didn't expect to find one I actually liked...

Laika - bad times

If you receive an e-mail with a subject of "badtimes" delete it immediatly without reading it. This is the most dangerous e-mail virus yet.

It will re-write your hard drive.
Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer.
It will recalibrate your refrigerator’s coolness setting so all your ice cream melts.
It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up the tracking on your VCR, and use subspace field harmonics to render any CDs you try to play unreadable.
It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number.
It will mix antifreeze into your fishtank.
It will drink all your beer, and leave its socks out on the coffee table when there’s company coming over.
It will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit and hide your car keys when you are late for work.
Badtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin.
It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.
It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your current boy- or girl-friend behind your back, and billing the dinner and hotel room to your visa card.
It will seduce your grandmother.
It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of Badtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.
It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can’t find it.
It will kick your dog.
It will leave libidinous messages on your boss’s voice mail in your voice.
It is insidious and subtle.
It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
Badtimes will give you Dutch-Elm disease.
It will leave the toilet seat up.
It will make a batch of methamphetamine in your bathtub,
and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase high school kids with your new snowblower.
These are just a few of the signs.
Be very very careful.