I was driving in my car, and I thought...

[timepiececlock]

When you haven't slept for more than twenty hours, it feels like you're in a dream. Nothing feels right; it's unsettling, and, in the morning, hard to have that feeling of marking the days. A lot of people hate that feeling, of knowing time has passed. But if you don't sleep--- it mucks everything up. You can't say "yesterday" because yesterday never ended, it's still today, and there was no "last night" because last nights only really come and go once you've fallen asleep. If you don't, it just seems... like the days hasn't ended. And that feels wrong.


It took me several more hours, but I finally realized what my initial thought reminded me of:

"When you're an insomniac, you're never really awake and your're never really asleep." - Fight Club

I'm not an insomniac, but I didn't sleep last night at all, in fact I've been up for 33 hours already. But I understand the sentiment, because it's seriously fucking with my head. It was the worst driving to school in the morning-- that unsettledness. Once I was in a classroom writing essays for my finals, I felt fine. A little distracted, but fine. I was great all through the middle of the day, and lunch. But 2 o'clock rolls around, and I start my Biology final, and I'm practically collapsing on my desk. I can't concentrate on anything; I hate it.

I've spent the last two hours just feel this sort of suffocating weariness in my body, though my brain is pretty awake right now. I'm on my, what, 9th wind?

I did have a good lunch though. I got to spend it with the people from Senator Sher's office (where I intern), and we were at this large catered party full of all these big wig California democrat people. It was so cool. Our US Representative, Zoe Lofgren, and the Rep from the next section over whose name I can't recall, were both there. They both spoke, too. I loved it.

Then I had to go back and take the Bio final. But at least it's all over now.

Comments

[duelingrose.livejournal.com]

That's me at a con. I just tend to forget that I need sleep and wonder where everyone's gone around 6 am... Makes for an interesting experience, though.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

six am is tiring. but it's within range, you know? You could fall asleep at six, wake up at 9, and get three hours. I've done that before.

[duelingrose.livejournal.com]

Try seven am and a two hour nap. Now that one is weird.