Witch Hutner Robin #6... An Exaggerated Recap

[timepiececlock]

Tonight's episode of WHR... An Exaggerated Recap

Robin is irresponsible with Big Manly Bike She's Too Young For, gets trampled on by the rain gods for her secret heathen ways, and is forced to steal an umbrella to survive the night. Rain gods hate pyromaniacs, you know.

Innocent Victim #1, now umbrellaless, dies in a car wreck after she gets a wasp in her eye and thinks it looks suspiciously like a Barbie doll with a cookie cutter.

Robin leaves her gas tank at the office for that bike she doesn't have anymore.

Robin steals the newspaper from the nice man who just agreed to watch her gastank, and cajols Michael into helping her find out information about Innocent Victim #1, who died umbrellaless and alone. ::cry::

Robin assualts Amon and drags him around until he aggrees to take her to get her Big Manly Bike She's Too Young For, whereupon she forgets her gastank yet again, but that's ok because she's really just manipulating poor little Amon's kind and trusting nature to go out to look at the site of the crash. Amon suggests that the bike may be a Big Manly Bike She's Too Young For, but Robin will have none of that. She likes her Big Manly Bike She's Too Young For.

Karasumo, also a victim of the sly and terrible Robin-with-morning-cheerfullness, takes one look at the crash site, declares that the whole thing is the work of alien invaders, and goes back home.

Robin gets called a kid again. It's no wonder, if she keeps up that secret klepto habit.

Robin and Amon investigate the Innocent Victim #1's last known person spoken with, and get to play pretend. Amon disagrees with the story that they're interested because they and Innocent Victim #1 were embroiled in a deeply passionate menage a trois. Robin pouts, and gets stuck being the sister in law.

Last Known Person Spoken is a young girl by the name of Freckles. Freckles is a social recluse who doesn't like getting scolded by her boss. Freckles is creepy, but hey, creepiness is totally legal.

Robin goes home and scares her roommate with her Fiery Kitchen Power. Roomie doesn't like this and gives her a well-crafted metaphor about trusting her feelings, hoping she'll go away. Robin takes this as an open endorcement to have some fun with all the governmental power at her finger tips, and rounds up the gang.

The gang allow themselves to be rounded up, because invading random people's privacy is twice as fun as chasing down bad guys, and only about 7% as dangerous.

Crime is commited, resources are abused. Amon acts all morally superior and mature. Karasumo actually is all morally superior and mature. Dojima makes sarcastic cracks and Sakaki snarks at her; Robin starts a blacklist with Freckles at the top; and the Office Boss breaks up the party.

Karasumo goes off to converse with people not them, Sakaki and Dojima leave to go make out in a closet, Robin flounces off in a huff, and Amon sneaks back in to make Michael break more laws. Michael nobly resists, but in the end is a true geek after all and sells his soul for a porn website.

Michael and Amon fraternize in the elevator, but Michael never gets his porn ( internet, anyway.) Amon gets to call someone else a kid and relishes it. Amon doesn't like kids. He knows a lot about internet porn though.

Amon breaks into Freckles's home and shuffles through her underwear drawer. The STNJ lets Amon do this every once in a while to get it out of his system.

While leaving Amon gets in his car and gets attacked by a Barbie doll with a cookie cutter, as cosmic justice for frowning too much and calling everyone a kid and being a voyeur. Freckles likes to think of herself as mature for her age, but she still takes offense when someone touches her underwear drawer.

Attacks are good... it means Amon gets to do the spiffy driving. It's what he joined the government for, anyway. The Barbie doll with the cookie cutter is so impressed that she faints mid-air and falls out the car door and turns back into a wasp.

Robin arrives just in time for the confrontation at Freckles's place, and gets to show off and set things on fire. Lots of things. This makes up a bit for having to return the stapler she stole fair and square from Sakaki two hours earlier.

Cookie Cutter Barbie's little friends burn to death, and Freckles bravely joins them in the fiery flames of the Toy Afterlife. Robin pouts some more-- she hadn't meant to burn the one with the purple miniskirt and trendy shoes.

The case is closed, and later Robin stands pouting on a bridge, reflecting that this was probably all her fault and if only she could curb her klepto nature, then surely Innocent Victim #1 would not have died umbrellaless. It's a fate no one deserves. Robin manages to maintain this mature and stately sadness for a whole two minutes, after which she sees Amon and her roomie making out one bridge over.

Robin considers setting them on fire, but the rain gods have come back and are taking everything out on her again. She settles for stealing their house keys instead.

. The End .

Comments

[spikespeigel.livejournal.com]

Very amusing. But, I gotta wonder about those RobinKlepto and AmonPerv references. Either I'm not watching closely enough, or you like klepto pervs :)

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

The klepto thing was probably BtVS carryover... and thinking that it might be funny if the angelic saintly Robin had a flaw like stealing stuff. And everyone would forgive her and tolerate it because she was angelic saintly Robin.

In the episode Amon did actually bribe Michael with a "killer website" and then later pulled the "I'll tell you when you're a grown up" line. So clearly, porn. I merely expanded... someone that stone-faced is secretly a perv. :D

[octopedingenue]

...cannot...breeeeeeeeeathe....

*wheeeeezegaspchokegigglesnortchokechoke*

You could make one of these every night. Could you could you, eeee?

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

I'm considering it.