Fanfiction reviewing: "Vous sux0rs! My friends will beat you up! No one understands my pain!"

[timepiececlock]

So, once upon a time, I read a story.. It was alright. Nothing to write home about, but not terrible either. I was content to enjoy the bits of it I could.

After the fourth chapter I quit, because, well, it turned kinda sucky.

However, it wasn't TERRIBLE, and there was promise in the first chapters, so I decided to be nice and leave a review telling the author why I was no longer reading it. The review function is a tool for criticism, after all. If she was interested in improvement she'd want to know why she lost a reader, if she wasn't she wouldn't care. I even ended it with a "good luck" wish of well-being, which is actually pretty nice for me. I don't often wish people luck with fanfiction I didn't enjoy.

That was back on the 12th. You know, like 5 days ago. Funnily enough, when I got a hilarious PM email about my review this afternoon, I hunted around for the unnamed fic and when I found out which one she was talking about, actually thought I'd reviewed the story a month ago.

What can I say? I'm on Student Time. That's like Pacific Standard Time, but with more burritos.

So anyway, I got a hilarious email. I haven't gotten one this rich in about...4 years. Let me share it with you:

penname: FireWater Alchemist Angel
profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/972608/

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sorry but you are a jerk you should have not put that rev. on my best friends fanfic reson#1. every one can see it on the air #2. she was in a bad mood all day and when she is in a bad mood i am in a bad mood and you dont want to know what happens when i am in a bad mood!#3. if you dont like it dont rev. #4. IF you lost intress then dont read. #5. It was very rude you could do constructive critisizem and oh ya about the japanese do you know how many other fanfics for avatar do that and i have the dvd and it is in english and japanese also about that IT IS ANIME CREATED BY JAPANESE PEOPLE ALMOST EVERY ANIME THAT EXISTS IS IN JAPANESE TOO! Okay sorry bout this but it was rude! kk just please dont rev. if you dont like and also i like some of your stories but sorry you need to update more!
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I mean, the funny, it's everywhere! Where oh where do I begin? The spelling, no, that's too easy. We'll put that down to emotional trauma she suffering from having her friend get a negative review for said friend's story. Completely understandable! I've eaten whole cars while under similar trauma.

Oh, I know! The cute little way in which she thinks Avatar:TLA is a Japanese production because it's in under the "anime" category of The Pit. Do I have the heart to tell her that it's entirely possible the Pit's maintainers just made a logistics error and are too lazy to fix it?

Or the way her typefont shines so brightly as she says " you dont want to know what happens when i am in a bad mood!" It's so shiny and black... ::stares::

I could be Noble Indignant Writer To Be and tackle her assertion of "if you dont like it dont rev" for its failure to understand the basic concept of the review button and the Noble Quest To Better Our Writing That We All Embark On Together As Fellow Fanfiction Writers.

I could even be the Amused Otaku and laugh at the fact that she thinks having a bilingual audio track means the DVD is from Japan.


But no... in the end, it's the littlest thing that amused me the most: the fact that when it comes to my review, " every one can see it on the air."

OMG I'M ON TELEVISION! SERIOUSLY GUYS, I'M ON THE AIR! LOOK! ::waves to air:: HI MOM!


...And then she ends it by asking me to update my own stories more often. The funny, it doesn't stop.

Comments

[ciardhapagan.livejournal.com]

That was a hard to follow e-mail, not just the grammar but it wandered around hither and yon. If that's how the fanfic of the friend was, I can see why you got tired of it.