(no subject)

[timepiececlock]

I think I found it.

The very worst Z/K-centered Avatar fic I've ever seen.

There's so many things wrong with these 400 words I can't even begin.

I'm not posting this because I think you should leave bad reviews, because I myself don't intend to leave any review. I just wanted to show you guys so that you can sit back and...stare.

It's...so....

You really want to tell yourself it's a parody. It's not.



And to make up for inflicting this on your flist: "Twin Blades", a good Li centered one-shot after episode 2x07.

Comments

[memlu.livejournal.com]

... it's not a parody?

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

My heart tells me "hope so" but my brain tells me "I really think it's not."

[misora.livejournal.com]

"But there is still one thing that I want. One thing that will keep me from depression, possibly even suicide. That's you."

...

oh my god.

But more than that, I love how this fic demonstrates step-by-step the three best ways to a woman's heart:

1. Imprison her,
2. slap her senseless when she screams at you for imprisoning her,
3. guilt-trip her into staying by your side with threats of suicide, and
4. buy her shit.

I weep for the future.

[misora.livejournal.com]

er, because I can't count, four best ways...

[candlefungus.livejournal.com]

WITCH HUNTER ROBIN LOVE

[misora.livejournal.com]

Yays! ^________^

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

Any one of those is bad enough, but four in a row? Like running down a checklist? ::hurts::

ridiculous soap opera

[chantalthespy.livejournal.com]

LMAO

[http://users.livejournal.com/_rednovember/]

No comment. Absolutely none.

[donna-c-punk.livejournal.com]

Okay. Fess up. That's the badfic you wrote, right? Because there's no way it could be that bad ... and not on purpose.

::head explodes::

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

I swear to you on my love of the FMA anime that it is NOT.* I haven't even done that one yet.



*you know how serious that is

[donna-c-punk.livejournal.com]

::faith in humanity dies a little more::

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

Dude. The fic is gone now. Makes you wonder.

Out! The power of canon compels you!

[akavertigo.livejournal.com]

I can actually feel my brain trying to reject the text, like a super-powered holy toaster trying to expel a charred slice of Satan.

Re: Out! The power of canon compels you!

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

I'm torn between my love-of-your-twisted-metaphor's compelling need to metaquotes you (and thus link this post), and a feeling of potential guilt at the idea of subjecting that poor, unfortunate soul to mass ridicule.

Re: Out! The power of canon compels you!

[akavertigo.livejournal.com]

Think of it as providing a learning experience. Kind of like a puppy having its nose rubbed into the carpet to show that no, cr*p like this doesn’t belong there.

Re: Out! The power of canon compels you!

[jcflygurl.livejournal.com]

Haha sadly, that's now considered in some progressive dog-training circles to not be very effective and possibly detrimental to the dog's behavior.

Your words are like honey and kittens, two things that really don't go together all that well in any situation but is still pretty funny to think about.

Murdering the reputation of metaphors worldwide!

[akavertigo.livejournal.com]

And thus on a similar note we can assume this grain of salt will turn into sweet, sweet wisdom as it forces her to land on her feet.

…or not.

[muffytaj.livejournal.com]

No.

Just... no. This can't be real. I reject the notion that this is serious. *looks at the author's other works* ...*whimper*

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

::holds you:: Reject the reality, reject it! (she obviously did)

[muffytaj.livejournal.com]

I just... why would you write something like that? I don't know how you could watch the series, and get THAT view of the characters.

It just doesn't make sense.

[candlefungus.livejournal.com]

"...my father will never except me. I will never be accepted back into my country."

[rubs hands] Time to sit this one down for a homonym lesson!

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

She spelled it two different ways for the same word...

Perhaps she was covering her bases?

[beckingham.livejournal.com]

I feel guilty now. Even if she deserved it I've never left a negative review before. At least, not one that wasn't evened out a bit with the positive qualities as well. I figured I'd just be insulting her more if I said "on the plus side, you know your punctuation pretty well!", though.

Er.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

I thought about it. For a while. Then I decided that the multiplicity of Bad Wrong Things in this ficlet was so vast and daunting that I wouldn't know how to begin. At least, not in a way that I thought might actually get through to such a person. I couldn't give constructive criticism because that means being instructive and I have no idea how one might instruct the mind that wrote that.

[beckingham.livejournal.com]

I just told her to start with pacing the Zuko x Katara relationship by extending the fic--she progressed far too fast from abuse to LOVE!112!!1. It's the main reason that makes it a Bad Fic in my mind.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

I figured I'd just be insulting her more if I said "on the plus side, you know your punctuation pretty well!"

Sadly, I think I've resorted to that once or twice.

[beckingham.livejournal.com]

I suppose it's something to be proud of to know your basics. I keep forgetting that there are people out there that can't even handle that.

Here from metaquotes

[flameraven.livejournal.com]

That...ow. Setting aside my personal hatred of the Zuko/Katara pairing, that fic just hurts.

However, the Twin Blades fic was amazing, and I thank you for linking it. :D

Re: Here from metaquotes

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

:laugh: You're talking to the mod of a K/Z comm, so I can't sympathize with you there. But as you said, badfic just hurts, no matter which tree you swing from.

You're welcome; I thought it was nicely done too. Very sad.

Re: Here from metaquotes

[flameraven.livejournal.com]

You know, as a rule I try not to get overly emotional over any pairing, because everyone like something different. If I could find just one really well-written, IC Zuko/Katara fic, I might give it a chance (although it still seems a highly unlikely pairing to me) but the endless endless fics of 'omg Katara is Zuko's slave and then they fall in luv 4evah!' on The Pit just frighten me away. O_O

Mostly I think Zuko is damned interesting enough without forcing him into romance.

Re: Here from metaquotes

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

I hate those fics. Slave fics are a terrible cliche in any fandom. ::has horrible flashbacks to DBZ::

You might like this: http://www.fanfiction.net/c2/26746/3/0/1/

It's my c2 rec community for the Pit. It's about 2/3 Z/K because that's what I read most of, but I try to add fics for all other pairings or no pairings when I read something that's decent, so there's plenty of single character vignettes on there, and some slash, and a few other pairings too. As the title suggests, it's the stuff I read that doesn't totally suck. So some of it's okay, and some of it's fantastic.


If you want some recs, here's a few good Z/K authors:

Vicki So: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/925724/ (vary from dramatic to v. funny)
Suave Boogie: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/853547/
Quela: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/280797/


Three of my favorite fics:

Protection: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2917946/1/ - a one-shot that's not really romantic, just emotional. It killed my heart. Set in season 2.

48th: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2720671/1/ - a one-shot that is sweet and savory and everything fabulous. It mocks the "capture" fic cliche (god will that EVER go away? I keep seeing it reappear even though it's not even possible with this season's canon) and twists it on its head.

Tempest In A Teacup: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2847752/1/ - A long AU chapter fic, and the best damn Z/K fic in the whole Pit. Sequel is currently being written. You don't have to like the pairing on the show to adore this fic.


Okay, enough gushing! :D

[hakeber.livejournal.com]

You should really check out avatarsues. A collection of the absolute worst the pit has to offer.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

I've breezed through it before.

[renuki.livejournal.com]

....O_O

PLEASE, TELL ME I CAN MST IT AND RIP IT APART!! T_T

I couldn't read it all in the fear I would use my BRAINS! T_T

...*is tempt to review, "You! Stop writing fics for my pairing and/or the characters of Avatar, you are making them look like freaking morons!!!!"*

You know? I am happy to know I can write better than this!

[renuki.livejournal.com]

*break

Bah! It made me do a typo! XD

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

You can MST if it you saved the text, unfortunately it appears to be totally gone now. Kinda makes me wish I'd bothered to memorize the name of the author, but I didn't, so I'll never know...

You know? I am happy to know I can write better than this!

If bad fanfic has one positive aspect in this world, it's letting just one person realize, "Hey, at least I'm not THAT author."

[renuki.livejournal.com]

Hah, I have it saved, well at least the stoy at least. :P

*Nods*

I will have to agree with you.

The thing that scare me is that, she SAID that she rewrote the text I saved..

*twitch* O.o

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that "rewrote" comment was on it when I first read it too. What's her penname?

[renuki.livejournal.com]

I don't know, sadly.

She didn't have her penname on the story text and I didn't remember her name either.

*Scartch her head* I would suppose I could keep a eye out to see if she even make a another story and it is bad as the one she did now. o.o

[renuki.livejournal.com]

Hey.

I looked back in my history thing and this person could be the one:
Desert Devil-chan

or not. o.O

Eh, it kinda of look like the profile of that person. o.O

[vickiso.livejournal.com]

That was so bad it gave me cancer.