more ff.net funnery

[timepiececlock]

Ladies and gentlemen of my flist, I would like to introduce you to ff.net author "constructive criticism".

Mr. or Mrs. constructive criticism created his or her account this afternoon for the sole purpose of leaving me this lovely review:

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This story sucks.

Not even the combined forces of Allah, Buddha, God and Tom Cruise would be able to save it.
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How do I know this account was created just for me? Well, besides it being created today, I'm also automatically blocked from PMing this person. And we've never even spoken-- it's quite flattering, in a way.

I suppose I'm disappointed that whoever it was felt they had to create a new account just to give a negative opinion, but on the other hand-- dude, someone created an account SOLEY to say that Tom Cruise doesn't have the power to save my smut fic.

Damn, that just leaves a big happy grin on my face.

So I used the "review reply" feature (which allows me one review response despite being blocked from the PM system) to inform the new reviewer that "sucks" is not a grammatical way to end a sentence and that it's probably a good thing I'm an atheist.

Comments

[memlu.livejournal.com]

Tom Cruise is like Jesus!

(Man, kudos for responding with grace. *g*)

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

Jesus always was a jumpy fellow. Couches never sat well with him.

(I'm thinking of making myself a text icon that says "Tom Cruise doesn't have the power to save my smut fic.")

[jaina.livejournal.com]

Between this and me getting an lj created just for the purposes of bitching at me, my flist is seeing a lot of personalized hate lately.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

Really? My sympathy. I haven't looked at my flist in about 2 weeks so I didn't know you were having that too.

[jaina.livejournal.com]

Oh dude, no sympathy. It was awesome. Made my fucking day. It's a few posts back if you feel like looking.

[easytodistract.livejournal.com]

Eh...s at that reviewer.

Actually...

[rasielle.livejournal.com]

... that user left a review on some other fic, a Naruto/Avatar crossover that really did suck. And it was --

Please stop raping my fandoms.

Not even the combined forces of Allah, Buddha, God and Tom Cruise would be able to save it.

So while that account wasn't exclusive, I think, it's apparently its own contradiction. *sighs* These people.

Re: Actually...

[rasielle.livejournal.com]

CRAP. Messed up the code!!! It should've come after "suck."

!!! Sorry!

killjoy

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

Oh fine just spoil my fun.

Re: killjoy

[rasielle.livejournal.com]

XD

[ciardhapagan.livejournal.com]

Don't you just love troll reviewers? That's so lame.

[akavertigo.livejournal.com]

I can't wait till the Tom Cruise "all mighty" joke gets worn out and shot. It's like having to suffer through the weakest link brain-mush all over again.

Don't you know that this only encourage the man, people? DON'T FEED THE MAN-VOID!

[danithehyper1.livejournal.com]

tell them 2 shut their pie hole. lol. i guess i wud b "flattered" if sum1 made an account just so they can flame my story also. well tom cruise cant save anything. and im sure your story is basicly the bestest ever. lol. i wud b extremely happy as well seeing as that would probably be the only review i wud ever get! lol u on the other had get butt-loads of reviews soo ya! maybe that guy was a buddist,christian/catholic/baptist/wutever!,and wutever religion Allah people follow. i know wut it is but i just cant remember it at the moment

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the well-wishes and symapathies. I appreciate the sentiment. However, if you're going to continue to comment on my journal I'll have to ask you to use complete sentences and appropriate grammar. This is the only time I'll reply to a comment given in "netspeak".

[danithehyper1.livejournal.com]

I am extremely sorry for wasting your time! Hopefully I can be forgiven.Oh, and I did remember what religion Allah is. It is Muslim. Sorry for wasting your time.

Well wishes,

danithehappy1