a question of manners...

[timepiececlock]

What is the polite way to proceed in LJ when someone you liked defriended you and you haven't any earthly idea why?

Do you fret about it, and re-examine your recent entries, scouring for what you think might have turned this person off of you?

Do you shrug it off and say "Your loss, puny fool!" ?

Do you stalk their journal and bombard them with comments without ever actually getting around to asking them, in hopes that by reminding them ferociously that you exist, they'll friend you again?

Do you email them and say "Why did you dump me, when we were so great together?!?"

What does one do?

Since you probably don't spend a lot of time reading your own journal on their friends list, does it really cosmically matter?

(Observe my fatalistic but pretty icon!)

On the other hand, I've seriously slowed down in adding people. So all the lovely folks who friended me in the last month or two, I'm not ignoring your existence, I'm just suffering overload.

What does "meta" mean?


ETA: i've settled on my proper response.

your loss, puny fool!


but i'll still read your journal anyway. cause... pretty fic, and uh...you're nice, and smart. yeah. whatever.

Comments

[kimberly-a.livejournal.com]

When someone unfriends me, I usually wonder why, but I don't necessarily assume it's something I've done. One of the people who unfriended me today is someone I considered something of a friend, someone I quite like and thought liked me as well. I try to remember why I've unfriended people in the past, and it often had nothing to do with them in particular. I was just feeling overwhelmed and couldn't deal with such a large friends list, and so was trying to trim.

I recently removed a couple of people from my friends list for various reasons, including:

• They keep writing about Buffy or Angel spoilers and I didn't want to be tempted, no matter how much I like the person writing the journal.
• For the past few weeks, they only write to post their fanfic, and it isn't fanfic that I'm particularly feeling like reading right now, since it's a very long story and I don't have the attention span for that at the moment.

Neither of those things is about not liking someone, for example, it's just about what sort of stuff I want to read right now not matching up with what they want to write right now.

I try not to take it personally when someone unfriends me, because I'm writing in my journal to express myself, not to win friends and influence people. I don't want to start thinking of it as a popularity contest, so when someone unfriends me I often wonder why ... but I don't worry about it too much. :)

Re:

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

They keep writing about Buffy or Angel spoilers and I didn't want to be tempted, no matter how much I like the person writing the journal.

I recently defriended someone for that. But he'd defreined me months before, so I doubt he noticed.

so when someone unfriends me I often wonder why ... but I don't worry about it too much. :)

Probably the best way. But I've always rather liked any excuse to call someone "fool!", so I have to take advantage of any situation to do so. ^_-

[ginmar.livejournal.com]

Well, I got unfriended by somebody who was anti-war in that 'Let-me-dramatic-comparisons-to-Nazi-Germany-so-I-look-sensitive' kind of way.I countered with the Nuremburg Laws, and they got really pissy. And then they barred me from commenting, which I think is about the most cowardly thing you can do. So, my response is pretty much like yours. That's happened several times, and I've commented in my LJ.

So, have you been arguing logically with people and then find out they can't stand it?

Re:

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

Well, this particular person didn't argue with me at all, whihc is why I was kind of confused. But like I said, and excuse to call someone "Fool!" is a good excuse. I love that insult, classic though it may be.

So, have you been arguing logically with people and then find out they can't stand it?

Yeah. They annoy me. However, in debate I find the problem that really bugs me with some people-- in this instance my bro and my aunt-- is that if they present their argument in what they think to be a logical, clear way, its inevitable taht you agree with them. And if you don't they think you're the problem, because how could you disagree with a point they've so clearly & perfectly illustrate? Obviously, you didn't understand, and they need to tell you again, because once you understand there's no way you can't agree with them.

Those are the people I clash with frequently in arguments.