Fanfiction, Beta-readers, and My Brain

::Rashaka sits in a psychologist's chair::

Pscyhologist: Tell me what you're feeling.
Rashaka: Fear. Abject fear.
Pscyhologist: Fear of what?
Rashaka: The beta-read edited version of my fic sitting in my documents folder.
Pscyhologist: Why does that scare you?
Rashaka: Because it's scary?
Pscyhologist: Have you looked at all of it?
Rashaka: No, just the beginning, and the very end.
Pscyhologist: Then how do you know there's anything to be scared of?
Rashaka: I have an attempt at flowery introspective sex for about a thousand words three-quarters down, followed by pointlessly fluffy discussion. A beta-reader looked at that. I'm terrified.
Pscyhologist: What exactly are you afraid of?
Rashaka: That it will suck. Or that everything I liked the beta reader will hate, and then I won't want to change it but if I don't change it because I think it's good the way it is, I'll feel like I gave in, like I didn't do my best, like I knowingly chose to keep something sucky. My ego can't take knowingly choosing something sucky.
Pscyhologist: So do the changes.
Rashaka: But I don't want to do those either! I want to ignore them! I should never have agreed to this! Even just looking at that many marks has me quaking in my purple slippers!
Pscyhologist: Stephen King's book said all first drafts suck and that editors will save you every time.
Rashaka: Stephen King doesn't know shit!
Pscyhologist: You adore Stephen King.
Rashaka: You don't know what you're talking about!
Pscyhologist: No, you don't know what you're talking about, which is why you're on the sofa and I'm not.
Rashaka: **breaks down** I suck don't I? I can't take this kind of stress! Fanfiction should not be stressfull!
Pscyhologist: She said she went deliberately soft on you.
Rashaka: I'm weak and easily wounded!
Pscyhologist: It's just a fanfiction.
Rashaka: No, you don't get it, it's me. It's impossible for me to separate myself from my work! I can't do it!
Pscyhologist: It'll be fine.
Rashaka: I wrote 1000 words of introspective angsty SEX, and now I have to read the beta comments on that! Do you know how scary that thought is?
Pscyhologist: It's just light smutfic; you read stronger stuff all the time. And what do you care? It's not based on personal experience.
Rashaka: I just do!
Pscyhologist: You're secretly a prude, that's the problem.
Rashaka: I'm not a prude! I'm easily wounded!
Pscyhologist: Coward.
Rashaka: Yes, yes I am.
Pscyhologist: Look at it tomorrow. Go to sleep and don't think about it.
Rashaka: It'll still be scary tomorrow.
Pscyhologist: And you'll still have an irrational phobia of beta-readers tomorrow, but at least you'll have sleep.
Rashaka: Okay.

EDIT: I think I'll pretend it's a school essay and the beta is my TA. Yeah, that might work.