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Apr. 28th, 2004 12:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
timepiececlockWell, it's midnight and I have to go to sleep. I worked hard though-- I wrote about 85% of chapter 3, and the first paragraph of the sex scene in chapter 4. I'm kind of on a roll. I keep trying to think of ways to make it even meaner, though. So far the earlier bits are evil but the sex is still kinda tame.
Here's a snippet:
Fucking was like fighting, and that never changed no matter how many people battled their way into bed in the passing of years. For born fighters like ninjas, fucking wasn’t just a skirmish, it was a war. It was an attack when Kakashi’s hands ripped at the younger man’s shirt as he shoved him backward toward the bed, and it was a counter-strike when Kabuto one-upped him by yanking the mask off his face and pressing his mouth against his. They collided together as they fell onto the guestroom mattress, hand pulling at clothing and tongues buried in each other’s mouths. Kakashi didn’t think about the boy trussed up in the closet who could wake or choke at any time, and Kabuto didn’t think about the hunter nin that might or might not be making their way to the waystation.
This is from the beginning of the sex scene. This is my first time writing slash, and I admit its new territory for me. Heck, any sex scenes are still pretty new to me, as I've only written one other one for the Spike/Buffy fic Turnabout. Remember my happy little fic about Buffy having sex with a mentally incompetent Spike and basically raping him kindly in the school basement? Yep. And that one wasn't even that graphic when it came to the smut. I've read much more.
I'm hoping this will be good. I think my descriptions and sentence structure is a little heavy-handed, but I'll do serious revising once I have all four chapters written out fully. Provided I don't go mentally incompetent myself before then.
So, this is it. I'm finally writing mature-rated yaoi / slash, and it's darkfic to boot. I honestly never thought I'd see the day.
Here's a snippet:
Fucking was like fighting, and that never changed no matter how many people battled their way into bed in the passing of years. For born fighters like ninjas, fucking wasn’t just a skirmish, it was a war. It was an attack when Kakashi’s hands ripped at the younger man’s shirt as he shoved him backward toward the bed, and it was a counter-strike when Kabuto one-upped him by yanking the mask off his face and pressing his mouth against his. They collided together as they fell onto the guestroom mattress, hand pulling at clothing and tongues buried in each other’s mouths. Kakashi didn’t think about the boy trussed up in the closet who could wake or choke at any time, and Kabuto didn’t think about the hunter nin that might or might not be making their way to the waystation.
This is from the beginning of the sex scene. This is my first time writing slash, and I admit its new territory for me. Heck, any sex scenes are still pretty new to me, as I've only written one other one for the Spike/Buffy fic Turnabout. Remember my happy little fic about Buffy having sex with a mentally incompetent Spike and basically raping him kindly in the school basement? Yep. And that one wasn't even that graphic when it came to the smut. I've read much more.
I'm hoping this will be good. I think my descriptions and sentence structure is a little heavy-handed, but I'll do serious revising once I have all four chapters written out fully. Provided I don't go mentally incompetent myself before then.
So, this is it. I'm finally writing mature-rated yaoi / slash, and it's darkfic to boot. I honestly never thought I'd see the day.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-04-28 09:06 pm (UTC)Back to the situation at hand...now that I think about it, bringing up - with a good reason - the sexual images on Kabuto's behalf is a little tough considering the way their characterizations work.
Especially Kakashi.
Uh...
I'm stump...sorta...did you have some sort of idea so we could go from there?
Kabuto is pretty bold when it comes to Kakashi. (Heehee) So maybe we could use that personality and develop (or elaborate) it just a tad bit?
no subject
Date: 2004-04-28 10:52 pm (UTC)I was thinking it would have to come primarily from Kabuto, because he's got this whole thing of "My master is comparing me to the famous Kakashi AGAIN when I am obviously SOOOO much better than him if only I didn't have to sit aroudn this lousy place one more minute pretending to be a lame powerless genin when I could beat a famouss ninja like KAKASHI if I wanted to." He's was very bold and confrontational. Like he's itching for a fight. And his impertinance and arrogance (and that whole little murderous betrayal thing) seem to be rubbing Kakashi the wrong way and making him want to give this punk a righteous smackdown.
What I was thinking in terms of the overall fic was that Kabuto's desire to prove himself as Teh Ninja Hotness by beating Kakashi makes him kind of obsessed with him, which gets twisted up with his idea of beating Kakashi or getting him. And Kakashi is going to be very angry throughout most of it, but Kabuto's mental genjutsuu attack I mentioned is going to have an unwelcome effect of forcing Kakashi to consider attraction, and how to respond to that. Like he would never have been physically attracted to Kabuto otherwise.
What I've sort of settled on is taking this most recent scene at the arena and making it innuendo-ish. That's really the only thing I can think of. I don't want to go to all the exposition work of coming up with a reason for Kabuto to come in contact with Kakashi, flirt with him, and then get away again-- methinks that neither would be able to sit through another face-off where all they do is talk... which means wr
continued
Date: 2004-04-28 10:54 pm (UTC)But I'm still not entirely happy with that scene. If only it had been longer in the anime!
My problem too is that while Kabuto is the bold one, it's Kakashi who says "are you going to run away from me again?" which is just TOO big to leave alone... yet I honestly don't think it would start being sexual from him first. And yet, that line begs it so much. Damn, if only Kakashi weren't so frigign msyterious and stoic! It's hard to predict how to write him.
Re: continued
Date: 2004-04-28 11:09 pm (UTC)I don't want to go to all the exposition work of coming up with a reason for Kabuto to come in contact with Kakashi, flirt with him, and then get away again-- methinks that neither would be able to sit through another face-off where all they do is talk... which means writing another battle which would be hard and complicated and require set-up.
Actually, you could get away with that, everytime he runs off, this adds the frustration on Kakashi's behalf (and of course the tension). In any case, if Kabuto does this with a constant momento, Kakashi is pretty much tied up in his hands. Uh...like a step forward, step back sort of encounters. Well, I think a more appropriate term for Kakashi and Kabuto is dancing. They do tend to dance around each other, obviously Kabuto more than Kakashi. Kakashi seems eager for a close one.
He thinks he's got him, but it's actually the other way around. Every encounter, you get a step closer to an actual battle but it never happens. For Kakashi's case, it's always a step backwards for him because Kabuto loves screwing around with adults. You are right of course and that neither won't be able to delay that fated battle. But in my opinion, the way its going in the anime, it seems inevitable that their battle will be delayed in one way or another. Perhaps an excusable constant interference?
Heh. I hope I'm helping at least.