fandom wishful thinking

[timepiececlock]

Recently I had a conversation in passing about religion. I mentioned my lack of it. I've had this sort of conversation before. Unfortunately, I never get asked the question I want to get asked. The question that I think would explain my views on religion and my personality in one nice round package.

"What would it take to make you believe there's a God?"

I know that a true believer wouldn't ask that question because the point of faith isn't what you get out of it. But I wish someone would ask me anyway.

I imagine the conversation would go much like this:

Believer: What would it take to make you believe there's a God?
Rashaka: Easy. It would take one well-written, gush-worthy, exciting multichapter Firefly/Cowboy Bebop crossover, with a minimum of 100,000 words, using all major characters, with implied Spike/Faye, Mal/Inara, and Simon/Kaylee, and basically being one of the best action/adventure/drama fics I'd ever read.
Believer: That's it?
Rashaka: No. The upcoming Ender's Game movie would be the most kick-ass film ever. It would blow away all my expectations, break my heart, capture the spirit of the novel, and be perfectly cast, directed, and written. And not kiddified in the least.
Believer: That's it?
Rashaka: No. The Dark Tower novels would get the same exact treatment, with Hugh Jackman cast as Roland of Gilead.
Believer: Anything else?
Rashaka: Full Metal Alchemist would be made into a live-action English-speaking tv show, funded by HBO, and perfectly cast and perfectly directed and it would win every Emmy out there and be the biggest television success in history.
Believer: Done yet?
Rashaka: Not at all. The Hitchhiker's Guide film would be remade and it would not suck. Everything would be different, except the actors for Ford and Arthur. They'd be in the remake because they were awesome.
Believer: That's never going to happen.
Rashaka: Yeah, I know. Sad, isn't it?
Believer: God works in small miracles. You have unrealistic expectations.
Rashaka: God is an unrealistic expectation.
Believer: I agree. That's the whole point. Though we like the term "superrealistic," or even better, "divine."
Rashaka: I still think I'll pass.
Believer: ...
Rashaka: ...
Believer: ...
Rashaka: The Ender's Game movie is doomed, isn't it?
Believer: Probably.
Rashaka: Damn.

Comments

[catystorm.livejournal.com]

You are the most awesome person ever. Have I told you that yet? XD

Psst. Can I metaquotes that?

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

No you haven't, but thanks! You're pretty cool too.

Go ahead. :)

[xwingace]

Very funny.

On a completely different subject, how is the Post-POTW ficathon coming along? I signed up for that, but I haven't heard anything after that.

XWA

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

Actually, assignments are going out. You should get yours today or tomorrow night at the latest.

[meghatron.livejournal.com]

visiting from metaquotes

Full Metal Alchemist would be made into a live-action English-speaking tv show, funded by HBO, and perfectly cast and perfectly directed and it would win every Emmy out there and be the biggest television success in history.

YES. If I were in any kind of position to make that happen I'd make it my next project. I wonder what the North American remake rights situation is?

*ponders*

haha

[laeryken.livejournal.com]

Oh dear "lord", what a hilarious meta-conversation!

I have such such such high hopes for Ender's Game. I don't know if anything could be quite as wonderful as the book, though. Taking it out of my mind and putting it on the screen invariably ruins a bit of the magic, no matter how amazing it is.

Re: haha

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

I'm amazed they're even trying. I see it as a book that would be very difficult to traslate to film, for a number of reasons. For one thing, a lot of it is in Ender's mind and thought process, which can be difficult to translate to film. For another, it's a book with mature subject-matter that paints a very unhappy vision of children being used by society. The tendency in film these days is that if it's got kid characters, it should be made to appeal to kids. And while I think the book DOES appeal to children and young people, it does so because it doesn't feel like it was dumbed down to be aimed at them. Also, I'm sure it will get softened because people don't like to watch bad things happen to children in films. It's too real, too personal. Kill all the monsters and cops and robbers you want, but no matter what the little girl or little boy must survive to the end of the movie and everything will be okay. One of the most important scenes in the book, the brutal naked shower fight... how are they going to portray that on film and let it get put out for American audiences and past censors? I don't see it.

These things all have me worried. I'll be going into the movie with lowered expectations. Maybe it'll be like Batman and end up blowing my low expectations out of the water.

Re: haha

[laeryken.livejournal.com]

I agree, it's a very mature subject. But what about the other important aspect of the book: It's also about kids outsmarting adults. What do I mean? Well, his brother and sister in the political forums. The simultaneous duping is awesome, and I remember how much I got caught up in their duping that I didn't even notice Ender's when the time came.

I'm also very, very worried. Who knows what will happen. *crosses his fingers*

And yes, Batman Begins was pretty damn awesome. =D