Blue Spirit Z/K fic

[timepiececlock]

I'm up to 4100 6100(!!) words. I've spent the morning sniffling through my nose and rewriting the first half of the fic, balancing out the amount of description to dialogue. This was especially bothering me in the beginning, and I think I've mostly worked it out to my satisfaction now. I've also been tweaking parts to update it to current canon, and akavertigo, your idea about hand-grabbing worked pretty well for that, I think.

I've been doing this to avoid doing the love-making part of the fic. I don't know why exactly I'm avoiding it; I've already written a portion. I think it's because I'm still mulling over how explicit I want to get. I have a desire to make it pretty, and I have difficulty making it pretty if I use really graphic language. But at the same time I want to challenge myself to write something genuinely mature-rated, since I've only done it once before, in Turnabout. But that was a Buffy/Spike ficlet, and graphic language is perfect for Buffy/Spike; I can be as explicit as I want and the tone still works for the pairing (even so, I was only medium-explicit in that ficlet, and only for like a paragraphs.)

I need to stop whining about this and write it.


EDIT: btw, I woke up at abput 5:45 this morning thanks to the cat being unknowingly trapped in my room all night. I'd gone to sleep at about 10:30, which was way early for me. So I stayed awake all morning, then napped for about half an hour, and still haven't gotten out of bed. I can type from bed (only benefit of living in half a tiny room.)

Comments

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

But my inexperience means I can't help but wonder if my writing of sexual content would be different if I did have the experience to draw from. I know that I do tend to have more personal connotations when I write something I know about myself; I can't help but put part of me in them.

Well, I wonder that, too. But you can always put your emotional experience into the scenes--and I don't just mean that in a hearts & flowers way, either. Lust, anger, angst...it can all be transposed. Further:

Actually, writing het without the experience of it bothers me a lot less than the idea of writing a slash/homosexual sex scene would.

I tend to have exactly the opposite experience. I've written explicit het, and would do so again if I once again became interested in a het pairing. But I actually find writing m/m slash easier because while yes, all (well, most of) the technical stuff is taken from other slash that I've read, I feel okay with that, 'cause even if I were the most experienced gal in the world, I'd still be...well, a gal. I'll never be able to have sex with a man as a man (and aww, that makes me kind of sad), but I want and will continue to want to write it, so I have to give myself license to do that, experienced or not. And for the noble cause of more porn, I shall. *g*

I like your motto very much.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

It's my secondary motto. I have two, the first of which always ends up being true, either way:

FANFICTION IS PAIN.

It's a motto in caps, always. It covers so much: from reading it to writing it to beta-reading it to what to do with your characters if you can't think of anything else.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

But...is fanfiction not also love? I enjoy it so very much. Even when it strips away the last, pathetically clinging shreds of my decency...

Like right now. When I seem to be writing RPS.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

It is also love, which is why it is so painful! It pains me to do this thing that I love, yet it would pain me so much deeper not to.

Even when it strips away the last, pathetically clinging shreds of my decency...

Jossverse fandom stripped away any illusion of decency I had, and anime fandom has made sure it stays off. Thankfully this has saved me from asking my friends a lot of embarassing questions in high school.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

A song for you. *g*