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Again with the teasing, she goes. -_-

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It's not teasing, it's journalling and self-relflective. I blog for the purpose of whining to the world. Teasing would be posting snippets on katara_zuko... and don't think I haven't considered it. ;)

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and don't think I haven't considered it. ;)

Part of me wants to ask and parts of me wants to stop the masochism. Woe.

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Better to wait. But hey, I've written 600+ words this morning alone! Not to mention the rewriting I've been doing. And I'm finally working on the good parts.

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::rocks back and forth in her corner:: Soon...soon...soon...

By the way does this fic have a title or anything akin to one?

(On a similar, but not, note I have Holly McNarland cover of "In the Air Tonight" and must share it with someone.

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Well, it *had* a title, a title I've always wanted to use for a fic, but now I might change it, because I'm not sure if it fits. I've resigned myself to waiting until I finish it before I pick one for sure.

Which, at the rate I'm going right now, might be tonight! I'm in the mood and on a roll. I'm so gonna email you the draft when I do, especially since my microsoft word seems to refuse to spell-check it for me. Just this document-- I've no idea why.

Oooh, thank you! ::nabs::

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Which, at the rate I'm going right now, might be tonight!

...

......

..............dfhh;lkdfhfdk;fhdkdfhflkj!!!!!!

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btw, if it sucks, you can't blame me. I didn't mean to build you up or anything! ::hides::

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Please, remember that the only standard currently existing for AtLA is set by AdultFF.Net.

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Ahh... true, true. And I admit the only mature AtLA fic I remember liking over there was Vicki So's (did you read that?), and my fic is pretty different from hers in terms of style anyway.

...ARGH. Just had a house meeting with my two roommates to talk about who gets the parking pass and nothing kills my fic-writing mood faster (even though it ended perfectly okay.) ::turns music on to get mood back::

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Vicki did an M-level fic? Really? Hm, wonder how I missed that one... (link?)

Ah! Don't kill the mood! Gotta save the groove, gotta save the groove, gotta save the groove. ::goes off to find music to save the groove::

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It's called "Oasis", and I think it's under a different name on adultff.net, though the lighter version is at The Pit. You can probably find it by browsing the Avatar section, it was only posted in early Feb.

Wait, it's still here. The mood has not left me! ::listens intently::

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Oh, hey, that one. Didn't it know it was her. (Small world and etc, etc.)

Also: Mission: Save Her Groove!
cirque Du Soleil - Alegria (new arrangement)
Astor Piazzolla - Tango Fugata
Rent - Light My Candle
Heather Nova - Welcome
Marta Quintero - Sin desnudar el deseo (I have absolutely no inkling of what this woman is singing. But neither do I care, really.)

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Nabbed!

God, I've written 1300+ words today, and that's not counting rewrites! ::is feeling super-prolific, for me::

I've gotten the first 2/3 of it completely done, and now I'm working on the resolution. I'm not quite sure on what note I want to end it. Think, think!

Anyway, thanks for listening to my play-by-play today.

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RESOLUTION SUCKS!

Fuck you, resolution! Fuck you, falling action! I don't you, I never liked you anyway! ::gives resolution the middle finger::

::goes back to weep over fic::

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I don't want to start a thing (even a minor one like last time *g*) but I'm honestly curious as to why you think a sex scene with "graphic language" can't be pretty. I'm no smut expert (though I've written a fair amount and read--whoa, a LOT), but I think a sex scene can contain explicit language--including the previously debated dick and cock--and still be really pretty. Pretty much any sex scene ever written by

astolat (or

resonant8. or

cesperanza.) comes to mind. Now, true--most of that is slash. But I'd be really sad to think that het is excluded in this!

If you just meant that you think you have problems making a scene with graphic language pretty, I've totally been there and sympathize. But I'm just curiously, as I've thought back several times to that previous conversation (and mostly to what the other poster said, but you seemed to be in closer agreement with her) and am still curious as to why strong words have to be seen as negative words.

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If you just meant that you think you have problems making a scene with graphic language pretty,

Yes. It's not that it can't be done or even that I haven't seen it done, it's that I have difficulty with it.

But I'd be really sad to think that het is excluded in this!

Be not sad then! I've read plenty of explicit fics that don't have that problem. Heck, if it were so rare I probably wouldn't enjoy mature fics as much as I do. But whether I feel like I am able to make it work is a different story. And, I am sad to admit, would probably be easier if I weren't a virgin.

I do remember our last conversation, and I forgot to mention context then that might explain one of my problems: the Avatar world is an alternate fantasy world based heavily on ancient Chinese, Tibetan, and Inuit cultures-- and none of the characters are Caucasian. Of course the show is produced in English, but it doesn't stop me from thinking that they probably didn't grow up learning to hear "cock" or "cunt" or "pussy", all of which are extremely English/European to my ear, and also are more acceptable to me now than they would have been going back further in time by century. I could look up Chinese words for those things, but then I'd be stepping too far from my native language (and the native language of my readers) for me to be comfortable writing.

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It's not that it can't be done or even that I haven't seen it done, it's that I have difficulty with it.

Oh, okay. Sorry--I think I'm still sort of bothered by the comment in the last convo (NOT made by you, so sorry to drag you back into it) implying that "use of 'cock'" = "rape." It's just been...bugging me.

And, I am sad to admit, would probably be easier if I weren't a virgin.

Hey, so am I. But don't let that stop you! I actually think that has very little to do with it--people write about things they haven't experienced all the time. You can make the sex scene all about the language, the emotion--which, if you're trying for a slightly less-explicit NC-17, is probably the way to go anyway.

The world you're writing in makes what you're saying make more sense, too, although if the fic is in the 3rd person, I still think you could get away with some of those words in narration. But like I said, above, I think it's possible to write a really good sex scene that conveys all the emotional aspects you're going for, AND is pretty, AND is hot, and to barely have to refer to the body parts in question at all. Describe the feelings; merely imply the organs that are the cause of them.

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last convo (NOT made by you, so sorry to drag you back into it) implying that "use of 'cock'" = "rape." It's just been...bugging me.

Yeah, I disagree with that too. Cuts out a lot of sex jokes if you can't use that word without thinking it's associated to rape. If anything, I tend to associate the word with pornography... and you can probably thank the internet ads for that.

But don't let that stop you! I actually think that has very little to do with it--people write about things they haven't experienced all the time.

I agree, and most of the time I don't consider "I've never done that" to be any kind of hindrance in writing. But my inexperience means I can't help but wonder if my writing of sexual content would be different if I did have the experience to draw from. I know that I do tend to have more personal connotations when I write something I know about myself; I can't help but put part of me in them.

Actually, writing het without the experience of it bothers me a lot less than the idea of writing a slash/homosexual sex scene would. With het, what I haven't figured out from outside input I can guess based on my own body. With m/m slash... I tried writing it once (see icon for the pairing), but I chickened out on the fundamental realization that I don't know shit about guy bodies. And I realized this didn't bother me, either.

You can make the sex scene all about the language, the emotion--which, if you're trying for a slightly less-explicit NC-17, is probably the way to go anyway.
....
But like I said, above, I think it's possible to write a really good sex scene that conveys all the emotional aspects you're going for, AND is pretty, AND is hot, and to barely have to refer to the body parts in question at all. Describe the feelings; merely imply the organs that are the cause of them.

That's what I've been doing so far. Yay introspection! Yay metaphorical flowery language! When in doubt, up the angst!-- as the motto goes.

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But my inexperience means I can't help but wonder if my writing of sexual content would be different if I did have the experience to draw from. I know that I do tend to have more personal connotations when I write something I know about myself; I can't help but put part of me in them.

Well, I wonder that, too. But you can always put your emotional experience into the scenes--and I don't just mean that in a hearts & flowers way, either. Lust, anger, angst...it can all be transposed. Further:

Actually, writing het without the experience of it bothers me a lot less than the idea of writing a slash/homosexual sex scene would.

I tend to have exactly the opposite experience. I've written explicit het, and would do so again if I once again became interested in a het pairing. But I actually find writing m/m slash easier because while yes, all (well, most of) the technical stuff is taken from other slash that I've read, I feel okay with that, 'cause even if I were the most experienced gal in the world, I'd still be...well, a gal. I'll never be able to have sex with a man as a man (and aww, that makes me kind of sad), but I want and will continue to want to write it, so I have to give myself license to do that, experienced or not. And for the noble cause of more porn, I shall. *g*

I like your motto very much.

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It's my secondary motto. I have two, the first of which always ends up being true, either way:

FANFICTION IS PAIN.

It's a motto in caps, always. It covers so much: from reading it to writing it to beta-reading it to what to do with your characters if you can't think of anything else.

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But...is fanfiction not also love? I enjoy it so very much. Even when it strips away the last, pathetically clinging shreds of my decency...

Like right now. When I seem to be writing RPS.

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It is also love, which is why it is so painful! It pains me to do this thing that I love, yet it would pain me so much deeper not to.

Even when it strips away the last, pathetically clinging shreds of my decency...

Jossverse fandom stripped away any illusion of decency I had, and anime fandom has made sure it stays off. Thankfully this has saved me from asking my friends a lot of embarassing questions in high school.

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