Blue Spirit Z/K fic

[timepiececlock]

I'm up to 4100 6100(!!) words. I've spent the morning sniffling through my nose and rewriting the first half of the fic, balancing out the amount of description to dialogue. This was especially bothering me in the beginning, and I think I've mostly worked it out to my satisfaction now. I've also been tweaking parts to update it to current canon, and akavertigo, your idea about hand-grabbing worked pretty well for that, I think.

I've been doing this to avoid doing the love-making part of the fic. I don't know why exactly I'm avoiding it; I've already written a portion. I think it's because I'm still mulling over how explicit I want to get. I have a desire to make it pretty, and I have difficulty making it pretty if I use really graphic language. But at the same time I want to challenge myself to write something genuinely mature-rated, since I've only done it once before, in Turnabout. But that was a Buffy/Spike ficlet, and graphic language is perfect for Buffy/Spike; I can be as explicit as I want and the tone still works for the pairing (even so, I was only medium-explicit in that ficlet, and only for like a paragraphs.)

I need to stop whining about this and write it.


EDIT: btw, I woke up at abput 5:45 this morning thanks to the cat being unknowingly trapped in my room all night. I'd gone to sleep at about 10:30, which was way early for me. So I stayed awake all morning, then napped for about half an hour, and still haven't gotten out of bed. I can type from bed (only benefit of living in half a tiny room.)

Comments

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

I don't want to start a thing (even a minor one like last time *g*) but I'm honestly curious as to why you think a sex scene with "graphic language" can't be pretty. I'm no smut expert (though I've written a fair amount and read--whoa, a LOT), but I think a sex scene can contain explicit language--including the previously debated dick and cock--and still be really pretty. Pretty much any sex scene ever written by astolat (or resonant8. or cesperanza.) comes to mind. Now, true--most of that is slash. But I'd be really sad to think that het is excluded in this!

If you just meant that you think you have problems making a scene with graphic language pretty, I've totally been there and sympathize. But I'm just curiously, as I've thought back several times to that previous conversation (and mostly to what the other poster said, but you seemed to be in closer agreement with her) and am still curious as to why strong words have to be seen as negative words.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

If you just meant that you think you have problems making a scene with graphic language pretty,

Yes. It's not that it can't be done or even that I haven't seen it done, it's that I have difficulty with it.

But I'd be really sad to think that het is excluded in this!

Be not sad then! I've read plenty of explicit fics that don't have that problem. Heck, if it were so rare I probably wouldn't enjoy mature fics as much as I do. But whether I feel like I am able to make it work is a different story. And, I am sad to admit, would probably be easier if I weren't a virgin.


I do remember our last conversation, and I forgot to mention context then that might explain one of my problems: the Avatar world is an alternate fantasy world based heavily on ancient Chinese, Tibetan, and Inuit cultures-- and none of the characters are Caucasian. Of course the show is produced in English, but it doesn't stop me from thinking that they probably didn't grow up learning to hear "cock" or "cunt" or "pussy", all of which are extremely English/European to my ear, and also are more acceptable to me now than they would have been going back further in time by century. I could look up Chinese words for those things, but then I'd be stepping too far from my native language (and the native language of my readers) for me to be comfortable writing.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

It's not that it can't be done or even that I haven't seen it done, it's that I have difficulty with it.

Oh, okay. Sorry--I think I'm still sort of bothered by the comment in the last convo (NOT made by you, so sorry to drag you back into it) implying that "use of 'cock'" = "rape." It's just been...bugging me.

And, I am sad to admit, would probably be easier if I weren't a virgin.

Hey, so am I. But don't let that stop you! I actually think that has very little to do with it--people write about things they haven't experienced all the time. You can make the sex scene all about the language, the emotion--which, if you're trying for a slightly less-explicit NC-17, is probably the way to go anyway.

The world you're writing in makes what you're saying make more sense, too, although if the fic is in the 3rd person, I still think you could get away with some of those words in narration. But like I said, above, I think it's possible to write a really good sex scene that conveys all the emotional aspects you're going for, AND is pretty, AND is hot, and to barely have to refer to the body parts in question at all. Describe the feelings; merely imply the organs that are the cause of them.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

last convo (NOT made by you, so sorry to drag you back into it) implying that "use of 'cock'" = "rape." It's just been...bugging me.

Yeah, I disagree with that too. Cuts out a lot of sex jokes if you can't use that word without thinking it's associated to rape. If anything, I tend to associate the word with pornography... and you can probably thank the internet ads for that.


But don't let that stop you! I actually think that has very little to do with it--people write about things they haven't experienced all the time.

I agree, and most of the time I don't consider "I've never done that" to be any kind of hindrance in writing. But my inexperience means I can't help but wonder if my writing of sexual content would be different if I did have the experience to draw from. I know that I do tend to have more personal connotations when I write something I know about myself; I can't help but put part of me in them.

Actually, writing het without the experience of it bothers me a lot less than the idea of writing a slash/homosexual sex scene would. With het, what I haven't figured out from outside input I can guess based on my own body. With m/m slash... I tried writing it once (see icon for the pairing), but I chickened out on the fundamental realization that I don't know shit about guy bodies. And I realized this didn't bother me, either.

You can make the sex scene all about the language, the emotion--which, if you're trying for a slightly less-explicit NC-17, is probably the way to go anyway.
....
But like I said, above, I think it's possible to write a really good sex scene that conveys all the emotional aspects you're going for, AND is pretty, AND is hot, and to barely have to refer to the body parts in question at all. Describe the feelings; merely imply the organs that are the cause of them.

That's what I've been doing so far. Yay introspection! Yay metaphorical flowery language! When in doubt, up the angst!-- as the motto goes.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

But my inexperience means I can't help but wonder if my writing of sexual content would be different if I did have the experience to draw from. I know that I do tend to have more personal connotations when I write something I know about myself; I can't help but put part of me in them.

Well, I wonder that, too. But you can always put your emotional experience into the scenes--and I don't just mean that in a hearts & flowers way, either. Lust, anger, angst...it can all be transposed. Further:

Actually, writing het without the experience of it bothers me a lot less than the idea of writing a slash/homosexual sex scene would.

I tend to have exactly the opposite experience. I've written explicit het, and would do so again if I once again became interested in a het pairing. But I actually find writing m/m slash easier because while yes, all (well, most of) the technical stuff is taken from other slash that I've read, I feel okay with that, 'cause even if I were the most experienced gal in the world, I'd still be...well, a gal. I'll never be able to have sex with a man as a man (and aww, that makes me kind of sad), but I want and will continue to want to write it, so I have to give myself license to do that, experienced or not. And for the noble cause of more porn, I shall. *g*

I like your motto very much.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

It's my secondary motto. I have two, the first of which always ends up being true, either way:

FANFICTION IS PAIN.

It's a motto in caps, always. It covers so much: from reading it to writing it to beta-reading it to what to do with your characters if you can't think of anything else.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

But...is fanfiction not also love? I enjoy it so very much. Even when it strips away the last, pathetically clinging shreds of my decency...

Like right now. When I seem to be writing RPS.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

It is also love, which is why it is so painful! It pains me to do this thing that I love, yet it would pain me so much deeper not to.

Even when it strips away the last, pathetically clinging shreds of my decency...

Jossverse fandom stripped away any illusion of decency I had, and anime fandom has made sure it stays off. Thankfully this has saved me from asking my friends a lot of embarassing questions in high school.

[trinityofone.livejournal.com]

A song for you. *g*